Anthony Bourdain Won't Be Cooking Dinner Tonight...

Doesn’t suicide also generally preclude one from collecting on most types of insurance? If that’s true - then whatever insurance is in place for the surviving family is null/void - further adding to the difficulty of what has been thrust upon the family.

 

I’m not sure suicide = insanity but I agree it’s selfish when there are dependent minors involved.

 

I never watched Bourdain. Knew who he was.

 

Every life insurance Policy I have had excluded coverage for suicide for 2 years after which claims become uncontestable. So, it depends how long the policy has been in place.

I enjoyed his perspective on life until now. RIP. Those demons are horrific.

I really liked him in his shows. Will be missed.

I have some cookbooks he autographed, have been cooking out of them since th news. Next up is Cote de boeuf, French fries, and burgundy.

If you think suicide is a selfish act, please read these words by David Foster Wallace (whom also took his own life) on the "invisible agony" that is depression, and why some people contemplate, and go through with the act of suicide. It's beautifully enlightening for those of us who can't imagine taking our own lives:

 

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

Demons are illogical.

 

 

Our company have guided a few members of the team through some mental health training recently. Some of the stats and outcomes that have come out of this have been staggering. For example Schizophrenia, 1% of the US's population are diagnosed with the disease and the impact upon the human body is one of the greatest of any disease.

When you look at Boudain's life it has been riddled with sex drugs and iced rolls. If you look at those activities in a logical way then they are selfish.

To write off depression and the outcome Bourdain took as selfish, being logical it is. But when you look at it from the victims viewpoint, where they feel they have no other strategy in life, they see no light or reason to be positive, their source of joy eradicated and removed from their life then they take the action they feel is logical and right to them at that time.

Whilst many will have their viewpoint that depression is a nonsense or what Bourdain did was selfish, take some time to talk to those really affected to try and understand what they have gone through.

 

 

Demons are illogical.

 

 

Our company have guided a few members of the team through some mental health training recently. Some of the stats and outcomes that have come out of this have been staggering. For example Schizophrenia, 1% of the US's population are diagnosed with the disease and the impact upon the human body is one of the greatest of any disease.

When you look at Boudain's life it has been riddled with sex drugs and iced rolls. If you look at those activities in a logical way then they are selfish.

To write off depression and the outcome Bourdain took as selfish, being logical it is. But when you look at it from the victims viewpoint, where they feel they have no other strategy in life, they see no light or reason to be positive, their source of joy eradicated and removed from their life then they take the action they feel is logical and right to them at that time.

Whilst many will have their viewpoint that depression is a nonsense or what Bourdain did was selfish, take some time to talk to those really affected to try and understand what they have gone through.

 

Good points. My point is if you are that much of a mess, have some self-awareness and don't bring in kids.

Good points. My point is if you are that much of a mess, have some self-awareness and don't bring in kids.

 

I think most people with kids have a very different perspective on this subject compared with those who only are responsible for themselves. Snowballs chance in hell it doesn't impact your child in a very negative way. And in the case of Kate Spade who left behind a 13 year old daughter, imagine starting high school with the whole world knowing your mom killed herself.

Good points. My point is if you are that much of a mess, have some self-awareness and don't bring in kids.

 

I used to think it was a selfish act but that’s because I, like you, have a sane mind. The real suicide people with severe depression, not the cry for help ones (who are a different type) have very different insanities and you just can’t fathom being in their head.

 

Their reality is that they are in a dark hole that they can not get out of. In that hole is pain and suffering. External inputs like support and family don’t really work. It’s not that they don’t love their loved ones, their twisted minds just can’t feel the love. Those minds want to be away from the pain. Sometimes They feel like they’re helping their families by lessening the burden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to think it was a selfish act but that’s because I, like you, have a sane mind. The real suicide people with severe depression, not the cry for help ones (who are a different type) have very different insanities and you just can’t fathom being in their head.

 

Their reality is that they are in a dark hole that they can not get out of. In that hole is pain and suffering. External inputs like support and family don’t really work. It’s not that they don’t love their loved ones, their twisted minds just can’t feel the love. Those minds want to be away from the pain. Sometimes They feel like they’re helping their families by lessening the burden.

 

When you sign on to have kids, it's a lifetime commitment, it's something greater than yourself. Bailing on your daughter because your hot batshit crazy girlfriend left you...please. He should have known better and never put a kid on his train in life. If you are that unstable, why do think you are qualified to be a parent in the first place and this is my point. If you are a person that has these demons, you have 2 options, white-knuckle it through your self centered life or better yet don't have kids.

 

BTW that goes for half the fcuking population who are going through the motions of being "parents" while not actually doing any parenting. Exhibit A Millenials. Parents who wanted to be friends, wouldn't let their kids get a paper cut and stuck them in front of a screen to do their parenting or shut them up.

kinnsella is such a simpleton.

 

That's all you have to add. Unprovoked ad hominem attacks, good job! Reminds me of somebody else..................

 

You must be right, there can't be divergent opinions. Everybody must be in lockstep.

 

Only having first-hand experience of seeing what my friend and his mum have gone through losing his dad and her husband. Who's the victim, the one the killed themselves or those left in the wake?? And to be really cold-blooded about it, Mum should have known better too, admittedly she was 22, but she knew her husband was unstable.

 

Have at it.

How many people actually think before having children, though? Actually plan out every detail before hand?

 

I'm sure it just "happened" for him. I doubt he asked for it.

How many people actually think before having children, though? Actually plan out every detail before hand?

 

I'm sure it just "happened" for him. I doubt he asked for it.

I did. I was 39 before I made the decision. Almost everybody I consider to be a close friend didn’t have kids until they were in mid 30’s or later. And a number chose not too.

 

Not thinking about kids. How could that go wrong?

How many people actually think before having children, though?

 

 

You may not have thought before having them, but Spade's suicide note to her daughter makes you wonder if certain people should have kids at all...

 

the note said: "Bea — I have always loved you. This is not your fault. Ask Daddy!"

You may not have thought before having them, but Spade's suicide note to her daughter makes you wonder if certain people should have kids at all...

 

There’s lots of people who shouldn’t have kids. Lots.

When you sign on to have kids, it's a lifetime commitment, it's something greater than yourself. Bailing on your daughter because your hot batshit crazy girlfriend left you...please. He should have known better and never put a kid on his train in life. If you are that unstable, why do think you are qualified to be a parent in the first place and this is my point. If you are a person that has these demons, you have 2 options, white-knuckle it through your self centered life or better yet don't have kids.

 

BTW that goes for half the fcuking population who are going through the motions of being "parents" while not actually doing any parenting. Exhibit A Millenials. Parents who wanted to be friends, wouldn't let their kids get a paper cut and stuck them in front of a screen to do their parenting or shut them up.

 

I don’t disagree with you in the slightest, except you fit in a category and I suppose you know a lot of mediocre to great parents and not many crappy ones. That because socially most of us live in bubbles of people similar to us. There’s a lot of society that doesn’t feel the same commitment to their offspring as we do.

 

Also depression can be progressive or some event can tip the scales. The thing is to these people that’s what ‘normal’ feels like.

There’s lots of people who shouldn’t have kids. Lots.

kinnsella is such a simpleton.

 

Care to elaborate ? Do you know what a simpleton is or means ? I could call you an idiot for making that comment as it is totally out of context . If you don’t like his opinion , rebuff it and voice yours , or ignore him . I don’t believe some our members comments at times , do you live in caves , cannot communicate without personal insults

I don’t disagree with you in the slightest, except you fit in a category and I suppose you know a lot of mediocre to great parents and not many crappy ones. That because socially most of us live in bubbles of people similar to us. There’s a lot of society that doesn’t feel the same commitment to their offspring as we do.

 

Also depression can be progressive or some event can tip the scales. The thing is to these people that’s what ‘normal’ feels like.

 

We have experienced the full gamut of parents. It's depressing seeing so much potential wasted. Having a child doesn't mean you are a parent.

 

I liked Bourdain a lot, he had a unique voice probably because of all his luggage. Shame he couldn't keep the ball rolling.

kinnsella is such a simpleton.

 

You've made several oblique comments in this thread. Seems like you have more insight to share. Which I wish you would. That or you don't like my politics....

When you sign on to have kids, it's a lifetime commitment, it's something greater than yourself. Bailing on your daughter because your hot batshit crazy girlfriend left you...please. He should have known better and never put a kid on his train in life. If you are that unstable, why do think you are qualified to be a parent in the first place and this is my point. If you are a person that has these demons, you have 2 options, white-knuckle it through your self centered life or better yet don't have kids.

 

BTW that goes for half the fcuking population who are going through the motions of being "parents" while not actually doing any parenting. Exhibit A Millenials. Parents who wanted to be friends, wouldn't let their kids get a paper cut and stuck them in front of a screen to do their parenting or shut them up.

 

Nature has undoubtedly proved you wrong. Most species do not make lifetime commitments to their children. It's actually a more recent part of history that parents are taking care of their children longer and longer. It wasn't long ago that you'd be getting married and having kids as soon as you could.

 

Regardless of how Bourdain's child feels now, assuming she also doesn't have a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, then I'd feel quite comfortable predicting that his daughter will enjoy a long, happy life of wealth that he probably left her. I'm sure she is happier to have been brought into this world with some pain now rather than not have been conceived at all. It's not like her life has been, is, or logically will be filled with pain and suffering.

 

Kinsella, you mentioned your friend and his mother and whether they are the victims rather than the father.

 

The reality is that neither the person who killed themselves or the family are victims, or that they both are victims of themselves. There is no villain in this situation other than themselves. The person who died suffered from a mental problem that led to him taking his own life. The child and mother suffer from mental problems of not being able to just move on and get over it. They all are subject to their minds and the problems within. If 30 years later someone was still effected by it, I'd say they have pretty bad mental problems of their own as well.

Nature has undoubtedly proved you wrong. Most species do not make lifetime commitments to their children. It's actually a more recent part of history that parents are taking care of their children longer and longer. It wasn't long ago that you'd be getting married and having kids as soon as you could.

 

Regardless of how Bourdain's child feels now, assuming she also doesn't have a history of depression and suicidal thoughts, then I'd feel quite comfortable predicting that his daughter will enjoy a long, happy life of wealth that he probably left her. I'm sure she is happier to have been brought into this world with some pain now rather than not have been conceived at all. It's not like her life has been, is, or logically will be filled with pain and suffering.

 

Kinsella, you mentioned your friend and his mother and whether they are the victims rather than the father.

 

The reality is that neither the person who killed themselves or the family are victims, or that they both are victims of themselves. There is no villain in this situation other than themselves. The person who died suffered from a mental problem that led to him taking his own life. The child and mother suffer from mental problems of not being able to just move on and get over it. They all are subject to their minds and the problems within. If 30 years later someone was still effected by it, I'd say they have pretty bad mental problems of their own as well.

 

Youre saying that if you cant move on from a tragic, and usually completely surprising violent death of your father, you have a mental disorder? Seriously? Major life events change the way we think and feel, its part of growing, but to pretend like ANYONE would just "move on" from that....is asinine

Youre saying that if you cant move on from a tragic, and usually completely surprising violent death of your father, you have a mental disorder? Seriously? Major life events change the way we think and feel, its part of growing, but to pretend like ANYONE would just "move on" from that....is asinine

 

 

Tragic events will affect and shape your life forever, you’d be mental if you didn’t get affected by them.

Youre saying that if you cant move on from a tragic, and usually completely surprising violent death of your father, you have a mental disorder? Seriously? Major life events change the way we think and feel, its part of growing, but to pretend like ANYONE would just "move on" from that....is asinine

 

You misunderstand. I didn't mean mental disorder (like schizophrenia or something like that), I mean just a mental issue that you could probably solve with therapy and self-reflection. It's problematic, you know it's there, it's illogical, but you can't seem to shake it.

 

Of course events change the way you think and feel, especially short-term and at young ages as the brain develops, but they should not create actual problems so much later on in your life. Tragedy can even often make you a "better" person. Perhaps the suicide of your father makes you cherish time with loved ones more, perhaps you become more aware of sign of depression in people or yourself. I never said that significant events in your life shouldn't shape it or change your outlook. What they should not do is negatively impact your life forever. If that happens, the problem is your own and not the fault of anyone else. A father who commits suicide is not responsible for a woman's inability to form new relationship 10 years later.

 

What I was saying is that there is no logical reason for events from so long ago to have negative effects on your life now. The event that occurred has no direct relation to anything in your life so much later. A father's suicide doesn't stop you from getting a loan. It doesn't stop a widow from remarrying. It doesn't cause you to get a parking ticket. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Any actual problems the event causes for you later in life are a result of your own mental roadblocks. In fact, I'm sure Kinsella's friend and mother are well aware of these problems and would love to be able to move past them and forget they ever occurred. I've had family members who lost their entire family in the Holocaust who didn't struggle later in life. When they talked about it, it was just "a long time ago." They had families of their own. They were happy. They moved past it.

 

I'm not saying it's weird to think back to loss and tear up momentarily. I will tear up at the memories of the loss of my pets over the years, more so than even the loss of my grandparents to be honest, but these small moments of grief have absolutely no negative effect on my life. The loss isn't profound so much later. In the moment it has the weight of the world, but later it's just a memory. Maybe one day a year I think about a sad moment in my life or see a story that hits close to home? It's not a big deal though.

 

So yes, I do believe that someone who can't move on from a tragic event decades later has some mental issues that need sorting. How else would you describe someone who knows they have an problem like this but can't solve it? It's mental. It's all in your head. It doesn't effect your neighbor or your friend. It doesn't effect anything tangible in the Universe. It's just something in your head that's not helpful, that you're probably aware of, but you can't change.

 

I believe people who commit suicide have mental issues. I believe people who can't get over tragic events from decades ago have mental issues. Obviously suicide is more significant of an issue, but in both cases people are negatively effected purely by their own illogical thoughts.

 

These kinds of problems do not make you a bad or selfish person whatsoever, at least in my opinion.

Exitr. You don’t seem to understand psychology.

 

You can move one and try not to let it affect you but even the most logical argument will be confounded by subconscious thoughts.

 

It took me years to figure out how some of what I suffered in my childhood affected me for life. How it influences my decisions and thoughts.

 

We are made up of our experiences good and bad. That’s all we have to go by. We have some instinct but a lot of that is suppressed because of our overgrown cerebrum.

 

It took me years to figure out how some of what I suffered in my childhood affected me for life. How it influences my decisions and thoughts.

 

This by 1000!

 

I attribute most of my success in life to learning how to harness and exploit the above, I am a firm believer in the fact that if I had a cushy comfortable upbringing I would not be anywhere near as successful and in spite of the fact that a lot of it I detest to a certain extent I am very grateful for it.