Ghoul pool 2016

As I have lots of spare time on my hands this year lets do this. Usual rules.

3 people none from the political arena that will most likely be knocking on some pearly gates in the year 2016.

Winner wins admiration amongst his peers and a made up voucher for some store that does not really exist.

 

Roman, can you run your legal eye over some of the responses please.

Wow, this is some fucked up humor. Do we just have to get one out of the three?

 

Hugh Heffner.

Dick Van Dyke. (Love that guy)

Betty White. (She's a sweetheart)

 

 

I was sad to see Sir Christopher Lee go last year. Guy was a true badass. Worked in the early SAS, filmed in Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, and even had his own death metal band.

Damn, you beat me to the first one,

 

I was going to say Hugh Heffner too.

 

but I will say

 

Hugh Heffner

Charlie Sheen

and as a long shot (possibly wishful thinking)

Justin Bieber

Val Kilmer

 

Bernie Ecclestone

 

And by popular demand, Martin Shrekli

 

 

Hugh Heffner.

Dick Van Dyke. (Love that guy)

Betty White. (She's a sweetheart)

 

 

Hugh Hefner, 89

To some, Hefner is seen as a lord, a lifestyle guru but the to the rest of the world the blue pill popping velvet jacket wearing eve of nonagenarian with permantely gurning sex face will this year only impress his grandkids by pulling crumpled tissues out of the pockets of said velvet jacket.

1 point.

LP thread title: Will not be poofing a bunnies tail in the morning

 

Dick Van Dyke, 90

Still relatively active and making out he is the fountain of youth but in reality probably aches like a bitch every day and rattles like a rattle snake gangbang from all of the healthy tablets he may consume.

Active on twitter but if he is anything like my parents needs to swap between 3 sets of spectacles in order to see what is on the screen.

2 points.

LP thread title: There will be chitty chitty but no bang bang in the morning

 

Betty White, 93

A LP Goul pool fav. One of those people that you think is already dead and surprises you whenever they appear on a live broadcast which in Betty's case is very much a rare occurance. Because she is nearly dead.

I still believe there is a sex tape out there, most likely a quite recent one too.

0.1 point

LP thread title: There will be a white funeral in the morning

 

Shit choices

Hugh Heffner

Charlie Sheen

and as a long shot (possibly wishful thinking)

Justin Bieber

 

 

Hugh Hefner, 89

To some, Hefner is seen as a lord, a lifestyle guru but the to the rest of the world the blue pill popping velvet jacket wearing eve of nonagenarian with permantely gurning sex face will this year only impress his grandkids by pulling crumpled tissues out of the pockets of said velvet jacket.

1 point.

LP thread title: Will not be poofing a bunnies tail in the morning

 

 

Charlie Sheen, 50

2015 was a interesting year for Sheen. Rewind a few years ago; men cheered and celebrated over stories of Sheen locking himself away in Las Vegas hotel rooms with adult entertainment stars and they soon adopted his catchphrase of wining. Strangely his other notably catchphrase Tiger blood did not take off in such a way.

But alas after years at staring at so many pummeled vaginas that look like a meat wagon carrying ham slices has been involved in a multiple fatality road traffic accident his car crash lifestyle caught up with him.

Him maintaining such a lifestyle now will certainly be problematic and suspect stories of his "lothario group activities" will certainly arise with the impending lawsuits that could well be filed against him.

The situation could well drive Sheen over the edge into a deep downward spiral of drugs and booze with dark depraved acts or as Charlie likes to call it, Tuesday.

1 point.

LP thread title: There will be one and half men in the morning.

 

Justin Bieber, 21

The whining nauseating pile of mincing smegma that is Bieber has the adulation of many many fat virgin teenagers. He could follow the path of Sheen, Heffner but the vacuous little runt would probably end up living a happy quiet life settling down with someone that looks like him.

The scrawny arse squealing voiced twerp is often marketed on his lost boy look but really we know that look is the vacant look of someone amazed by their own shadow and struggles to construct a coherent sentence without resorting to using the word like every other word.

Most likely to meet his end via a private jet incident on a busy album promotion but I cannot see that being 2016.

10 points

LP thread title: Thank fcuk for that, in the morning.

Val Kilmer

 

Bernie Ecclestone

 

And by popular demand, Martin Shrekli

 

Val Kilmer, 55

Mobile hamburger Val Kilmer had a tough start to the year with a throat tumour. Rumour has it that when diagnosed with this he asked the doctors if he could eat it.

In his hey day he cut a fine figure of a man with some big money spinner films like Top Gun and Batman but now the man that makes fabric sales people happy he now cuts a fine hot dog.

5 points

LP thread title: There will be no wingman in the morning

 

 

Bernie Ecclestone, 85

The mighty f1 dwarf still works because of his daughter’s costly spending habits. The man that looks an ant square in the eye is still a ferocious businessman in his world and manages to bat off suspect lawsuit after lawsuit and still quite spritely and eagle eyed as ever.

The guy is a Sith lord in Yoda’s body and would probably build a death star if he could source a decent engine for the thing.

3 points.

LP thread title: As his coffin is lowered into the ground not for the first time the world looks down on Bernie. In the morning.

 

Martin Shkreli, 32

Fuckwad with a hedge fund and zero compassion for humanity or is he?

 

But likely to escape any meaningful prison time but will spend a vast amount of his life fending off lawsuits which is a bit idiotic when you have/had stacks of cash.

30 points

LP thread title: HIV treatment prices will be down in the morning.

Damn, you beat me to the first one,

 

I was going to say Hugh Heffner too.

 

but I will say

 

Hugh Heffner

Charlie Sheen

and as a long shot (possibly wishful thinking)

Justin Bieber

 

Hugh Will live for another few years I think

Charlie.... eh I still think he has a few years.

Justin...Maybe due to stocker, Drunk driving, OD(with I doubt)

 

Lamar Odom

Josh Duggar

Clint Eastwood

Francis Fiedler

Francis Fiedler

Has anyone heard from him since your wedding?

Lamar Odom

Josh Duggar

Clint Eastwood

Middle one is not famous enough.

Middle one is not famous enough.

 

Fair point

 

Lamar Odom

Miley Cyrus

Clint Eastwood

Burt Reynolds..Ill have my other two entries shortly

Michael Schumacher

Warren Buffet

Stephen Hawking

George HW Bush

Queen Elisabeth

Oscar Pistorious

Fair point

 

Lamar Odom

Miley Cyrus

Clint Eastwood

 

 

Disappointed with your picks; woeful z-type “people” that are about as famous as Mrs Miggins who lives down the street from me.

 

Reality TV people are the worst.

 

Lamar Odom

He was one of the most searched names on google in 2015 and a hashtag #prayforlamar

Who is this guy?

He must be one of the world leaders?

A world leader in pharmaceutical development?

A maverick in world tech?

A crusader in the quest for green energy creation?

 

No, Lamar is a former male Netball player who was involved with the internet breaking Kardashians, a vacuous empty head family of faux divas and brown meat loving attention seekers that are stars on “reality TV” and Adult internet movies. But we should pray for him because he was found unconscious in a brothel; we have all done that right?

As a result of this incident he was in a coma where he had some awful news of kidney failure and even worse news that is wife does not want the divorce anymore, because of medical decisions and in no way kerching related. The poor guy, if I was in his situation I would be hoping and praying a nurse trips of the power cord for the life support machine. fcuk, can you imagine waking up from a coma to find out you are still married to a Kardashian?

Now the reason he was passed out in a brothel is staggering clear.

 

Alas, the Kards are a runaway money train as the gormless hoards of cretins idolize them and a good stint in rehab is all that is really missing from the clusterfuck family and so he will be well looked after in 2016.

 

30points.

LP thread title: Who gives a fcuk if he is down in the morning or not?

 

Miley Cyrus, 23

 

A singer with a voice like the sound a helium filled whoopee cushion makes when sat on and a passion for creating pseudo shock and intrigue whilst having no arse.

 

No discernable health alerts we know about but out of all of the people that feature in the ghoul pool is the person most likely to appear on stage in 2016 wearing nothing but a shopping bag with a buffalo horn poking out of her arse.

 

60points

LP thread title; No wrecking balls through the wall in the morning.

 

 

Clint Eastwood, 85

 

A LP ghoul pool favourite. It seems the people of LP love the films he directs (I think they are corny and shit) but the people of LP what him gone.

Lets see what Roman has written in the past

 

Clint Eastwood- 82 year old Actor, Academy Award Winning Director and Bacon Stand-in, (The dried pork product, not Kevin) most famous for whispering death threats to people on film... He still seems to be in excellent physical health, but the Mental Game may be slipping a bit... 5 pts

 

Nothing really has changed in those years so still 5 points.

 

LP Thread title: 6 shots fired in the morning.

 

 

George HW Bush

Queen Elisabeth

Oscar Pistorious

 

 

First two are out. Try again, I can think of some magic for the third though.

I'll settle for any of the K klan.

 

Bruce Jenner... probably fly off malibu canyon trying to drive his gt3rs in jimmy choo heels.

Mel Gibson

Bill Cosby

Michael Schumacher

Warren Buffet

Stephen Hawking

 

 

Michael Schumacher, 46

 

German chin and hospital bed enthusiast Michael performed some magic in his hey day as world champion but due to his skiing incident not much is known of his current medical condition other than he is still fighting. He has been fighting for a very long time, almost as long as George Foreman’s boxing career which is ironic really as a George Foreman grill has more going on than Michael.

A phemenal driver and a tough nut, would be a shame to see him go.

 

0.5 points.

LP Thread title: Michael will not be skiing to Breakfast in the morning.

 

Warren Buffet, 85

 

An outstanding investor who contributes a lot to troubled charities that fights near impossible fights like the Bill Gates and the Hilary for president campaign.

No real health scare since the prostate cancer in 2012 so despite the age high points

 

15 points.

 

LP thread title: Warren will not be investing in breakfast in the morning.

 

 

Stephen Hawking, 73

 

Hawking, the voice of the computer has so many letters after his name he could make up a keyboard.

 

The British institute and high electricity user is a world leader in all things theoretical physics and is monitored by nurses all day long despite one having allegedly abusing him

 

10 points

 

LP thread title: They will not be recharging the chair in the morning

 

 

Ragnar Lodbrok,

Peggy Carter,

Tywin Lannister.

Ragnar Lodbrok,

Peggy Carter,

Tywin Lannister.

And people say you are not a virgin.

First two are out. Try again, I can think of some magic for the third though.

 

Oscar Pistorious

Miley Cyrus

Britney Spears

Burt Reynolds..Ill have my other two entries shortly

 

ok to finish up..

Burt Reynolds

Rob Kardashian

Dan Rather

wild card:

Tom Brokaw

I'll settle for any of the K klan.

 

Bruce Jenner... probably fly off malibu canyon trying to drive his gt3rs in jimmy choo heels.

Mel Gibson

Bill Cosby

 

 

Bruce Jenner. 66

Strictly speaking Bruce is dead, long live Caitlyn.

Proof that us men are better than women because Caitlyn won woman of the year despite packing cock in the pants and presumably wanting yet another medal for doing so.

Caitlyn really ramped up the speed on the Kardashian WTF train with the crossover to the skirt side, so much so that the fatal car crash he… she… erm help me out here was in does not even come near the top of the mountain of fuckwttery that is the Kardashian way.

No health risks, the balls are still attached which presumably means Caitlyn is technically capable of wanking over his own tits* which means there will be a sex tape to fuel the Kardashian express train, choo choo.

 

*As can wheels.

 

Point: 35

 

LP Thread Title; Jesus where to start with this one.

 

 

Mel Gibson, 59

 

Who knew that a child raised in Australia could be racist? Anywho the professional aficionado of tourettes like rage, booze and racism has been keeping it quiet, mainly because other than the expendables the work has dried up because no one wants to work with him.

 

60 points.

 

LP thread title: Mel will not be ranting on the phone in the morning.

 

 

Bill Cosby, 78

 

Are you feeling sleepy? Good then I will begin…

The rest of his life will now consist of lawsuits and counter lawsuits which no doubt will be detrimental to his health.

 

10.5 points.

 

LP Thread title: Bill will be glad you woke up this morning...