GHOUL POOL 2013!!!!!

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Terrell Owens

Burt Reynolds

 

Zsa Zsa Gabor- 95 year old Hungarian socialite most famous for having Paris Hilton's gig, before Paris Hilton. A paraplegic for the last ten years and double stroke survivor, for nearly a decade now she has had one foot in the grave, and the other was amputated two years ago 1 pt.

 

Terrell Owens- 39 Year old ex football player most famous for believing his own PR. Survived a suicide attempt in 2006 and that was long before the final stake had been put in his career. 25 pts.

 

 

Burt Reynolds- 76 year old stunt man, turned actor turned sex symbol turned leader of the ZombieApocalypse... Rumor is he broke his jaw back in the 70's and has been living in constant pain from TMJ ever since.... They say a picture is worth a thousand words.... Well... This one is worth-

 

 

 

5 pts.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Fidel Castro

Justin Bieber

 

 

Ilean Gabor- 1 pt

 

Comrade Fidel- 5 pts

 

Justin Bieber- 35 pts.

 

 

 

Paris Hilton

Cathy Griffin

George Lucas

 

 

Paris Hilton- 31 year old (Christ Im getting old) hotel heiress most famous for sucking cock on film, shoving her arm up a cows ass, and carrying a dog in her purse.... No... Wait... She carries cocaine in her purse too.... Repeated DUIs, and other repugnant behavior, I hope she's done... 25 pts

 

Cathy Griffin- 52 year old angry, anorexic ginger, most famous for having one of the most annoying voices on the face of the fcuking planet.... The Branch Dividians played loud recordings of HER at all hours of the night to make the ATF go away.... I swear to God, that shrill bitch could cut diamonds.... fcuk her. 15 pts

 

George Lucas- 68 year old director most famous for his gigantic fcuking throat, and for fcuking up the Star Wars franchise. Now retired with nothing left to fcuk up, I dont know what he will do.... 15 pts.

Gene Simmons

Carrot Top

Gloria Estefan

 

Chaim Weitz- 63 year old former bassist and rock icon turned reality TV star, most famous for his ability to comb his hair with his own tongue. The only rock star to never use drugs or alcohol, Unless Shannon Tweed chokes him to death hes not going anywhere and his given name LITERALLY means "Life" in Hebrew, and he's likely to have a long one- 25 pts.

 

Scott Thompson- 47 year old prop comic turned steroid freak and botox addict. Winner of the 2013 Michael Clark Dunken- Too Much of a Good Thing" Award, this guy's aorta could pop at any second. 20 pts.

 

Gloris Estefan- 55 year old latin jazz icon, most famous for damned near dying in a fiery car wreck in the 90's, and really annoyingly long drum solos.... If she keeps the car on the road, she'll be fine... 45 Pts.

Piers Morgan

Simon Cowell

Warren Buffett

 

 

Piers Morgan- 47 year old french named, limey tabloid star, most famous for being the Professional Wrestling version of journalism. The guy made his bones on sensationalism and outrageous headlines in the Daily Mirror, and parlayed that into the reins of one of the most successful entertainment franchises in history.... And then promptly drove its ratings right into the shithouse.... Rumored to be on the verge of cancellation just a few months ago, the sonovabitch has capitalized on dead school children to get his own name in the papers and save his own skin at CNN.... Following in the footsteps of Morton Downey, Wally George and Howard Stern, who taught the world, You get higher ratings being hated than loved, hes playing the DICK CARD for all its worth. 40 pts.

 

Simon Cowell- 53 Year old music producer turned game show host most famous for walking away from the #1 rated show in the world, so that he could do a bad, over-produced, patronizing imitation of it.... And, IT SUCKS. A lover of high end autos that he sometimes drives like an asshole, that and cigarettes seem to be his only vice... 20 Pts

 

Warren All You Can Eat Buffet Buffett- 82 year old oracle of Omaha best known for pretending that being born the son of a United States Congressman and successful stock broker qualifies as having humble origins. A multi-billionaire, he has spent much of his life devoted to raising the income tax on middle income households and being a huge proponent of the Estate Tax he has spent last seven years trying to avoid himself. A role model to tightwads and polygamists everywhere, when he finally dies he'll probably be buried in a paper mache` casket with his former wife and Astrid Menks (whether she has died yet or not) crammed in there with him, just to save a few bucks... - 5 pts

Mike Tyson

Bob Barker

Paula Abdul

 

Iron Mike Tyson- 46 year old former Heavy Weight boxing champ and convicted rapist, most famous for biting off Evander Hollyfields ear in his comeback fight.... Despite the money and the fame, the guy's life has been a series of repeated tragedies, largely of his own making, but with a few special "fcuk You's" thrown in by God just to get the point across.... A diagnosed manic depressive and recovering addict/alcoholic, the guy has more fcuking mental illness than he could ever afford to get treated... 10 pts.

 

Bob Barker- 89 Year old silver haired game show host most famous for sexually harassing all of his female co-workers over the course of his 50 Plus year career in entertainment. A big fan of animals, it turns out he wants you to spay and neuter them because thats what kept him out of paternity suits all these years... I honestly had to look up to see if the guy was still alive... 5 pts.

 

Paula Abdul- 50 year old dancer turned pop star turned American Idol judge, most famous for being a GOD DAMNED FREAK ON TWO DIFFERENT TV SHOWS.... Nobody acts like that unless they are high on SOMETHING... 25 Pts.

 

 

Jeremy Clarkson

Miley Cyrus

Edward Van Halen

 

 

Clarkson- 52 year old car show host, most famous for having his head firmly ensconced in his own colon when it comes to his opinions on cars... He's funny though... And Laughter is the best medicine... 35 pts

 

Miley Cyrus- 20 year old tween TV star turned tween pop idol most famous for being the less talented kid of the incredibly untalented Billy Ray Cyrus and for flashing her taint in daisy dukes every chance she gets.... Still not old enough to legally have a drink, I get the sense the bitch can shotgun a a fifth of Jack Daniels faster than a teenage boy can jerk off to her Vanity Fair spread. 40 Pts.

 

Eddie!!!!- 57 year old Rock Star and Greatest Guitar player to ever live, turned 90 year old woman. A cancer survivor, with a severe past of cigarette, alcohol and drug abuse, he now looks like 40 miles of hard road. Those years have caught up to him... 10 pts.

 

 

Macaulay Culkin

 

Hugo Chavez

 

Sean Connery

 

Maccauley Culkin- 32 year old child star and Michael Jackson's ex girlfriend, most famous for having the most fucked up hollywood family EVER, and for turning himself into a Willem Defoe look alike. A long history of substance abuse issues, going back to his childhood days... Grew up too fast. 29 Pts

 

Hugo Chavez- 58 year old tin horn communist dictator most famous for making Fidel Castro look GOOD and for being this year's "Anna Nicole Smith, Most Likely to End Up in an Urn on the Mantel by Spring" award.. I cant write too much about this guy, because he could literally drop dead before I finish, and that would fcuk up the whole contest... He is pretty much dying of cancer as of this writing, however, these South American despots have a way of hanging on for years at death's door... Maybe its that overwhelming "smell of sulfur" he always complains about.... Hey.... Asshole.... George W. Bush is going to piss on your grave.... - 1 Pt.

 

Sean Connery- 82 year old Scottish actor most famous for defining the character of James Bond for all others to follow, and for being the coolest motherfucker in the room wherever he goes... A cancer survivor, with heart disease, he still looks pretty good... He just wants to be left alone... 5 pts.

Peter O'Toole

 

Chuck Norris

 

Enrique Iglesias

 

Peter O'Toole- 80 Year old Irish actor most famous for starring as T.E. Lawrence in the epic Lawrence of Arabia, which coincidentally has a running time just shy of T.E. Lawrence's 47 year life span. A recovering alcoholic with a liver the size of Maaaaatttt Daaaaamuuun's head, he has long been rumored to be gay, though he has never formerly come out. - 5 points.

 

Chuck Norris- 72 Year old martial arts master turned actor most famous for becoming one of the great internet memes of all time... A complete health nut, he cant die... Death fears Chuck Norris... 15 pts.

 

Enrique Iglesias- 37 year old son of Julio Iglesias, most famous for being a really good looking guy, once he got that fcuking thing on his face removed. 50 Pts

Michael Douglas

 

OJ Simpson

 

Sheldon Adelson

 

 

Mike Douglas- 5 pts

 

OJ Simpson- 65 year old Heisman Trophy winner turned killer most famous for spending the last 4 years in the Lovelock Nevada La Grunta Inn. Looking at a minimum of another four years inside, he could get shanked or hang himself with the bedsheets any day now. 5 Pts

 

Sheldon Adelson- 79 year old Casino Magnet most famous for daring to donate money to political candidates you don't like. 10 pts

Thread is reopened... But closed to new entries....

Michael Madsen

 

 

Jerry Lee Lewis

 

 

Ozzy Osbourne

 

 

Michael Madsen- 55 Year old actor most famous for his squint and being the less talented brother of Virginia Madsen.... Currently facing charges for DWCFW (Driving While Completely fcuking wasted).... 15 pts

 

Jerry Lee Lewis- 77 Year old Rockabilly Icon and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer most famous for marrying a 13 year old girl when he was 22 and for giving Gary Busey a Roll Model that was more fucked up than himself.... 5 Pts

 

Ozzy - 64 Year old Heavy Metal god most famous for spending the last twenty years trying to shake a Hennessey Induced coma... The guy is a complete mess, he's broken his neck, and his wife is one of the great harpies of all time... Which may cause him to drown himself in a bathtub full of scotch....5 pts.

Dolph Lundgren

 

Liam Neeson

 

Jean Claude Van Damme

 

 

Dolph Lundgren- 55 Year old Swedish giant most famous for kicking Rocky's ass and for being the only man to find Grace Jones remotely attractive. The guy is on the COVER of Men's Health about every other month.... 35 Pts.

 

Liam Neeson- 60 Year old Irish actor most famous for nearly saving the first Star Wars Prequel and for reinventing himself as an action star... Also in excellent shape- 30 Pts

 

Jean Claude Van Damme- 52 Year old Belgian actor and martial artist most famous for rounding out the SET OF WORST PICKS in the 2013 Lambo-power.com Ghoul Pool... - 35 Pts.

Why does no one ever go for Gary Busey? Seriously a goldmine of mental fuckery and ripe for a classic ghoul pool write up

Mickey Rourke

 

Sean Connery

 

Bruce Willis

 

Mickey Rourke- 60 Year old actor and sex symbol turned professional punching bag, most famous for his hair, and for transforming himself from one of the best looking men alive, to John Merrick's stunt double. A long history with drugs and alcohol, his 91/2 weeks could end any minute... 10 Pts.

 

 

Sean Connery - 5 pts

 

Bruce Willis- 57 Year old funny-man turned action hero star, most famous for being totally OK with Ashton Kucher fcuking his ex-wife. If you put DEMI on your list, Id get it.... But Bruce? Yippe Ki Ayy Mother fucker- 30 Pts.

And for those who had me in the ghoul pool, you damned near won.... Stomach flu.... or food poisoning... either way... Im behind...

Why does no one ever go for Gary Busey? Seriously a goldmine of mental fuckery and ripe for a classic ghoul pool write up

 

 

Paul allen

 

John voight

 

Burton reynolds

 

Paul Allen- 59 year old billionaire and co-founder of Microsoft most famous for completely fcuking up Ticketmaster... I dont know, maybe he'll choke on Burt Rutan's mutton chops.... 30 Pts

 

JON Voight- 74 year old acadermy award winning actor most famous for being the illegitimate father of Angelina Jolie, and for his Tour De Force performance in ANACONDA... Most likely to be killed by one of his daughters ex husbands... 15 pts.

 

Burt- 5 pts.

 

 

Bernie Eccelstone

 

Mary Kate Olsen

 

Charlie Sheen

 

Bernie Eccelstone- 82 year old head of Formula One and Adolph Hitler apologist, most famous for being my least favorite pick in the Ghoul Pool five years running. 5 pts

 

Mary Kate Olsen- 26 old 1/2 og the Olsen Twin Empire most famous for being an anorexic and reported drug abuser. I ran into her at A Morrissey concert last year, and she looked like she was about to drop dead.... Seriously 26 years of hard road on that girl. 20 pts.

 

Charlie Sheen- 47 Year old chronic drug addict and mentally ill son of Martin Sheen, most famous for being the less talented brother of Emilio Estevez... He is always one binder away from passing a post mortem exam. 5 pts.

Jack Nicholson

 

Roger Moore

 

Tommy Lee Jones

 

Jack Nicholson- 75 year old Film Icon and megalomaniac best known for finding time to to turn in Oscar worthy performances in between keeping up with his lifelong goal of humping one out of every three women in the city of Los Angeles. Appears to be in excellent health so long as he didnt pick up anything while tag teaming groupies with magic Johnson in the 80's- 15 Pts

 

Roger Moore- 85 year old British Actor most famous for ruining the James Bond Franchise by making it into a bad 70 disco caricature.... 5 pts

 

Tommy Lee Jones- 66 Year old dried up prune most famous for starring in some of the most awesome movies of all time.... And then completely fcuking up the characters by agreeing to do a piss poor sequel. 20 pts.

I don't think any of these will actually die next year but if they do I want a prize:

 

Perez Hilton

 

Kim Kardashian

 

Kanye West

 

Mario Lavandeira- 34 year old gay gossip bitch most famous for getting the shit kicked out of him by the Black Eyed Peas manager. fcuk this guy. 15 pts

 

Kim Kardashian- 32 year old attention whore who, like her dad, is most famous for getting black guys off. Now knocked up with Kanye West's demon seed, fcuk her too. 30 Pts.

 

Kanye- Imma let you finish... Drinking yourself to death- 5 pts

Them dying would be prize enough for me.....and now for my picks, taking one from you

 

Lindsey Lohan

 

Jack Nicholson

 

Kanye West

 

Lindsey- 15

 

Jack- 15

 

Bubba Hotep- 5

Sean Connery

Annette Funicello

Al Molinaro

 

And the one sure candidate: The US economy

 

Sean Connery- 5 pts

 

Annette Funicello- 70 year old child star and former mousketeer turned Peanut Butter Pitch Man, most famous for being the first Britney Spears and making Frankie Avalon look good. Suffering from MS for over twenty years now her trip to Neverland may be overdue. 5 pts.

 

Al Molinaro - 93 year old Real Estate developer turned actor most famous for his role as Happy Days second banana. The winner of the 2013 Abe Vigoda "Guys you Thought were Already Dead" award- 1 pt.

Wonderfully disturbing concept:

 

Ashton Kutcher

Kathy Griffin

Whoopi Goldberg

 

Ashton Kutcher- 34 year old actor, turned homewrecker, most famous for driving Demi Moore crazy. Now banging Mila Kunis, which has to be good for the health... 30 Pts

 

Kathy Griffin- 15 pts

 

Whoopi Goldberg- 57 year old comedian most famous for being the only comedian who is literally humorless. Not nearly as funny, interesting or smart as she thinks she is, she is now relegated to MCing a daily bitchfest... And that should eat her from the inside out. 20 Pts

 

 

Al Pacino

 

Suge Knight

 

Dina Lohan

 

 

Alpa Chino- 72 year old academy award winning actor, most famous for consistently playing Colonel Slade in every movie he has been in since Scent of a Woman. Still working and healthy as a horse- 15 pts

 

Marion Knight- 47 Year old pro football player turned gang member, turned rap mogul, most famous for hanging Vanilla Ice out a window by his feet. 10 Pts

 

Dina Lohan- 50 year old first generation train wreck, most famous for birthing 2nd generation train wreck Lindsey Lohan.... A long history with drugs and alcohol, and crazy ex husbands... The only question- Who is worth more Ghoul Points? 15 pts.