Little Advice?

So, my brother and I just got done breaking up a fight with one of our really good friends who is in the Army. He had come back home from base and was staying at his Dad's house and brought two guys that are in his unit with him. I had heard stories and had some feelings that they have been drinking about a case a piece and getting into brawls with each other nightly, but I hadn't actually witnessed it until tonight. What was most astonishing was the lack of care on all parties involved given that it was at his Dad's house, and that the fight started over the placement of cups for beer pong.

 

This wasn't just a couple of drunk buddies pushing each other and slapping each other around, it was closed fist to the face with full blows that are going to require stitches. Sure, I can almost understand that happening every once in a while and I'm used to it from my older cousins and extended family (who are lost causes) but this guy has only gotten into this lifestyle since he has been back from Iraq. Not only this but after being around the other guys in his unit he has started making horse shit unusual decisions that have put him in situations which has required him to pull his gun out to protect himself.

 

If it was a normal situation I would give some sort of corny father to son style high school speach about who he is hanging out with and what choices he is making, but he's kinda stuck in the Army for 2 1/2 - 3 years and is schedualed for another deployment to Afghanistan with these same guys in a year. I just briefly voiced my concerns to his father in a text (he is not in a talking mood right now) but I'm not quite sure what his thoughts are on the situation because he doesn't always open up on the subject, or at least he hasn't with me. Would anyone have any ideas for this situation? I'm not sure what Army policy is on unit transfers, or if he would do it, but I think we need him to come out with his drinking problem and issues with his "buddies" first.

 

All feedback is appreciated, Thank you.

when you see them coming, lock the door.

corny speech might be your only option. maybe less directed at not hanging out with these guys and more at not doing the dumb things they do?

So, my brother and I just got done breaking up a fight with one of our really good friends who is in the Army. He had come back home from base and was staying at his Dad's house and brought two guys that are in his unit with him. I had heard stories and had some feelings that they have been drinking about a case a piece and getting into brawls with each other nightly, but I hadn't actually witnessed it until tonight. What was most astonishing was the lack of care on all parties involved given that it was at his Dad's house, and that the fight started over the placement of cups for beer pong.

 

This wasn't just a couple of drunk buddies pushing each other and slapping each other around, it was closed fist to the face with full blows that are going to require stitches. Sure, I can almost understand that happening every once in a while and I'm used to it from my older cousins and extended family (who are lost causes) but this guy has only gotten into this lifestyle since he has been back from Iraq. Not only this but after being around the other guys in his unit he has started making horse shit unusual decisions that have put him in situations which has required him to pull his gun out to protect himself.

 

If it was a normal situation I would give some sort of corny father to son style high school speach about who he is hanging out with and what choices he is making, but he's kinda stuck in the Army for 2 1/2 - 3 years and is schedualed for another deployment to Afghanistan with these same guys in a year. I just briefly voiced my concerns to his father in a text (he is not in a talking mood right now) but I'm not quite sure what his thoughts are on the situation because he doesn't always open up on the subject, or at least he hasn't with me. Would anyone have any ideas for this situation? I'm not sure what Army policy is on unit transfers, or if he would do it, but I think we need him to come out with his drinking problem and issues with his "buddies" first.

 

All feedback is appreciated, Thank you.

 

 

How old is this guy?

 

 

A lot of the boys coming back from IRAQ and Afghanistan are suffering from post traumatic stress. These guys have been exposed to very stressful situations and seen some awful things. It just doesn't go away easily. They need professional help.

I don't think there's much you can do except possibly talk to their superior and get them some help. I really don't know how that works in the military though.

 

I can only imagine what they've been through and seen over there, and the stress of knowing they have to go back has got to be unreal. A lot of these kids haven't got a clue what they're getting into when they join the military, and the reality of war is pretty shocking, and more than many can handle.

 

A friend of my mom's husband was on the front lines in WW2, part of the D-Day invasion, and he still has flashbacks and is still seeing a shrink to help him deal with what he experienced.

You could maybe ask your question at the military.com forums, a lot of people there are in the service and might be able to help.

Whatever you SAY to him is not gonna help, at all. If it were that easy, you would've figured out what to do already. Most of the time the only way for people to learn is to make mistakes, unfortunately.

How old is this guy?

 

They are all in their early twenties, which means they are stupid anyways, but this is a scary stupid that is beyond what they teach in college.

 

A lot of the boys coming back from IRAQ and Afghanistan are suffering from post traumatic stress. These guys have been exposed to very stressful situations and seen some awful things. It just doesn't go away easily. They need professional help.

 

The sad thing is that they didn't really get into much more action than one night when a stray round struck their humvee and when one guy shot a rabid dog. I know a lot of their frustration comes from this. These guys all went into the army thinking they would have gotten into some action and trained for it. They waited for a year over there and nothing really happened. Which was a good thing, but they just came home and are like hungry dogs. The biggest tease for them was that they were acting as back up for some SF teams when they hit some high profile targets. So they were an arms lenght away from the action but could only listen to the SF teams radio chatter as they cleared houses and the explosions that came from that.

 

The closest they have gotten to firefights has been at home so far, and one of the guys from their unit actually disappeared about 3 weeks ago. It wasn't like this guy went AWOL or anything either because NO one has heard from him including his family. Apparently he got into some crazy shit they wouldn't elaborate on and they think he is dead.

 

I'm not trying to discredit what they did over there or how they are dealing with themselves because it is still an extremely stressful environment and an active war zone. I think it will be really hard trying to do anything for my buddy becasue these guys did go to war with him, but with the way that they treat him and each other I wouldn't want them next to me in a trench. I just can't see a positive reaction coming out of him if I try to tell him that these guys are aiding in creating a pretty dangerous lifestyle for him. I hope he listens though because this observation is coming from a good Irish boy who is used to fist fights at weddings and other family gatherings and is not impressed by much when it comes to drunks fighting.

 

I'll try some of the forums and some vetrans that I know. I have a feeling that the vetrans I know and work with would lift up their pant legs to show fake legs and call them pussys. That might be what they need though.