The Modern Man Thread

I agree with much of has been written about what makes a "man" in modern society. I have started several replies but quit because of the difficulty articulating my thoughts succinctly.

 

Kerplop said it better than I could (thank you).

 

And I also firmly believe that goals in life will define your direction but don't define you as a person - because for most people goals change depending on your stage of life.

 

If you really get to know yourself and become comfortable in your own skin and you can live 'authentically" - that's about as good as it gets.

 

I preface my next comment by saying I'm happily and faithfully married over 32 years. Just because a person is married doesn't mean they don't appreciate members of the opposite sex (or even same sex depending on your preferences). So here goes:

 

Some of the guys that I find very attractive all have something in common: their own confidence in themselves. I find it sexy as hell - but of course misplaced confidence is ugly as hell - so one must have a well earned and deserved confidence.

 

But the other thing about these men is that they are multi-faceted men who are intelligent, interesting, funny, and secure enough in who they are to allow all aspects of their personality to shine including things that might be considered by some to be feminine. Some examples: one loves to do yoga with his wife (and sometimes teaches the class). Another does pottery, and teaches disadvantaged kids, and was a high school art teacher for 10 years before going into the corporate world. He is one of the most rough and tumble "Guy's guy" that you could ever meet. Shoots. Hunts. Drives like a demon on the track (very fast). Throws pots on a wheel (pottery). He volunteers for meals on wheels. He is a great friend who can be counted on. His word is his bond.

 

Other male friends do the "guy" stuff and also love nature, animals (especially their pet cats/dogs), cooking, fine wines, classical music, symphony.

 

They are "manly men" but can wear a pink shirt and look great, or they pay attention to the details of their wardrobe and look really put together (sometimes) when it might be judged by some as a bit "feminine".

 

It's an interesting blend but it all comes back to confidence. They know who they are, they are comfortable in their skin and not afraid to be who they are even if some might judge their traits to be feminine. It makes them all the more appealing because it's a strength that comes from within, from knowing who you are. And from not caring about judgement from others.

 

But can't all the same things be said about women? As Kerplop said - just because his girlfriend is a mechanic doesn't mean she isn't attractive. It's about the WHOLE person.

 

I like a lot of "guy" things. That often puts me in situations dominated by men. But that doesn't mean I want to be a guy, or I'm "too masculine". It just means I like to do some of the things that men like to do. But there's a lot more to me than that.

 

Thanks for sharing Cake, good stuff!

 

I figured you would post something like that....that guys who are comfortable in their own skin would be attractive to you.

 

The saddest thing would be for men to drastically change who they are......not ridding themselves of bad characteristics but trying to be a stereotype if that's not who they really are.

 

Lack of insecurity -- that's the #1 driver I keep in mind to continuously improve on slowly but surely. It's something a good friend harped on years ago and it's pretty obvious a lot of guys are insecure more than they should be....even guys with money, looks, toys, etc. We love to laugh about it because it's so damn common in guys, especially those who should have know better.

 

Come a good ways and always room for improvement. It's very hard to be perfect because of how society conditioned us.....very strong force.

 

That and being authentic to who you are around as many people as possible is also key I believe. Easier said than done sometimes......acting different around different people is not ideal, but many people do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is probably going to be horribly written because I am just writing what I am thinking but I will chime in a little...

 

Everyone has a different definition of a man. I am going use what Fortis and Kerplop said "someone who provides for their family, looks after them giving them shelter, safety, love and respect, someone who others can rely on and and trust, someone dependable" and "knowledgeable, experienced and rational". I will say that as a woman observing others I notice we do not let men be men anymore. From when my generation was little all the girls were told you can do whatever you want. Some things I have noticed, women will not let men open the door for them, offer to split the bill on a date (I might get shit for this), carry heavy things, etc. Now I am one who will try to carry heavy things or build some crappy furniture, or try to fix stuff around the house but that is just because I enjoy doing that stuff and I do not have anyone to do it for me. I try to do things on my own first then I will ask for help.

 

What I am trying to say is if I were to be in a relationship I would want my man to come home after work give me a kiss, smack my ass, eat the dinner I just cooked, and then go fix or build something while drinking a cold beer, then check on his bacon in the smoker after he trims his beard

 

 

Great post, Tara!

I wouldn't take Fortis' man card away because he likes to interior decorate (sorry). So, wtf really is a man.

 

You can take my man card away the truth of the matter will still be that I have three beautiful kids one beautiful wife and I am bringing home the bacon like it's going out of fashion

 

Speaking of bacon, everyone thumps their chest sayin I am an ALPHA MAN I smoke my own bacon make my own fire and burn raw meat on the BBQ, no, no, no, I am the ALPHA because I got you to do all that for me while I am sitting there chatting up the ladies

 

The moral of the story is, of course I can do all of those things but I figured out a way to have others do it for me, it's called evolution, adapting to your environment, so you be the Alpha, Fortis isn't taking that away from you, oh no, LOL

This is where I fit.

 

- I'm snipped. I can't have kids. Don't want them. Never have.

- Marriage I may consider later, much later, only with someone that I've been with for a very long time, and only if it feels right for both. Kids were essentially the dealbreaker in my last marriage, and I only date people who are childfree. I've also been burned enough times it's going to take a while before I'm that trusting.

- I would rather spend my time having fun, adventuring, traveling, and experiencing lots of new things in life with my partner.

 

I do not think that having kids or not having kids makes you any less or more of a man, just as I don't think having or not having kids makes you any less of a woman. Neither need to fulfill either role, kids are a life choice, not a masculine or feminine requirement. I'm also a bit of a nihilist, so I don't really give a damn about passing on my DNA and reproducing. I am 100% happy for my friends who are happy fathers, but I do not see it as something that makes them better than me, just as I do not see not having kids making me better than them. One life to live, everything is finite, so spend it how you desire.

 

I do care about working on Lamborghini, Porsche and other cars, paragliding, rock climbing, traveling, astrophotography, leather work, physics, and other things I love doing. I guess you could consider some of those "manly", since I love working with my hands, I love climbing, and I love farting while I do it. My girlfriend does the same, she's also a mechanic. I don't think it makes her any less of a woman, nor does it make her a man, these are things she loves doing, and things I love doing. She's intelligent, independent, and a blast to be around.

 

I care more about if my partner is compatible in terms of communication, trust, respect, honesty, etc.... than whether or not they are a girly girl that puts on makeup and always try and impress me.

 

Obviously I'm attracted to women, but I am more attracted to someone's badass brain and who they are than how they look. You could be a supermodel, a solid 10, but if you don't have a beautiful perspective on life, don't have the intellectual capacity to enjoy it, and aren't interested more about being in that state... they may as well be talking to a brick wall because I just can't do it. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I understood what type of women I was interested in, and even longer for me to learn to be ok with myself instead of what others wanted for me.

 

If anyone wishes to define something a man is, I would propose he be independent enough, strong enough, and solid enough to realize that and accept that, and to have the confidence to be himself, than worry about what society and others tell him he should be.

 

You sound exactly like me.

Seriously, what the hell do these kangaroos do? Do they lift fcuking semi trucks in australia? Are they hired as mercenaries? fcuking hell that is terrifying.

 

They probably do the same thing gorillas do, i.e. lie around and eat leaves (when they aren't hopping around).

You can take my man card away the truth of the matter will still be that I have three beautiful kids one beautiful wife and I am bringing home the bacon like it's going out of fashion

 

Speaking of bacon, everyone thumps their chest sayin I am an ALPHA MAN I smoke my own bacon make my own fire and burn raw meat on the BBQ, no, no, no, I am the ALPHA because I got you to do all that for me while I am sitting there chatting up the ladies

 

The moral of the story is, of course I can do all of those things but I figured out a way to have others do it for me, it's called evolution, adapting to your environment, so you be the Alpha, Fortis isn't taking that away from you, oh no, LOL

 

LOL. 100% accurate

 

To me, the guys who act "alpha" aren't alpha at all. Trying to hard too impress people. Usually means insecurity.

You aren't supposed to cheat

 

If they had the option:

 

do you chop your finger nails with an angle grinder or a chainsaw I would've been 100% masculine LOL

 

I got the following results:

 

somewhat feminine 93%

 

Feminine: 53%

Masculine: 21%

I am so lazy to shave that I let it go as long as I can until I look like a caveman then I bite the bullet and do it, I can not explain to you how relived I am at that point, having all that hair on your face is so god damn annoying LOL so I might be able to break even on this point since you still get a hairy man for a while.

 

I thought from your posts, that you were so sharp that when I will come to see my sister in Sydney, I would meet up with you it would be super awkward. You would be in 5000€ Zegna suit freshly shaved, and I would wear my old shitty camo shorts and have a week old beard. Now I know the hairy face wont be problem.

 

 

 

I need an L-Power badge for this under my username

 

 

 

 

What is a man is a philosophical question philosophers have been pondering for ages. Along with what is life, what is love, what is the universe, etc. Although, it was mostly agreed upon that in fact, most people who weren't studying astronomy, philosophy, and mathematics are the time, were pussies

 

Kinda said that jokingly, but it does bring up an interesting argument. Is a man really someone who hunts, misogynistic, etc? Or is a man really a person who lives for the betterment of himself/man kind?

 

I wouldn't take Fortis' man card away because he likes to interior decorate (sorry). So, wtf really is a man.

 

I think the self-improvement is a signature hallmark. Misogyny is a negative for anyone (yes, even you feminists...Misogyny is anyone having a predominantly negative view of the opposite gender, male of female) and causes more of a divide than anything actual good. The betterment of mankind is a bit of tossup, since a lot of times people will become doormats for the sake of others insted of standing up for themselves. I think there's a balance there.

 

You can take my man card away the truth of the matter will still be that I have three beautiful kids one beautiful wife and I am bringing home the bacon like it's going out of fashion

 

Speaking of bacon, everyone thumps their chest sayin I am an ALPHA MAN I smoke my own bacon make my own fire and burn raw meat on the BBQ, no, no, no, I am the ALPHA because I got you to do all that for me while I am sitting there chatting up the ladies

 

The moral of the story is, of course I can do all of those things but I figured out a way to have others do it for me, it's called evolution, adapting to your environment, so you be the Alpha, Fortis isn't taking that away from you, oh no, LOL

 

Translation: DANCE PUPPETS DANCE

 

Tough call these days. I'm old school but in society I seem to be the dinosaur. In the animal kingdom strength rules, it fends off enemies and provides food. In humans this is replaced by money. Money provides food, security and shelter. Sad truth is, these emo kids that can make apps and have mastered the computer, have more skills then me being able to fix old cars, and build things. Hence these days people hire someone to do EVERYTHING. Also in today's communist bs society with political correctness coming out your ass, I sometimes wish I was ignorant and happy. The world has changed so much. I think a man is someone who takes care of their responsibilities, is there for their families and rolls with the punches. I know a lot of "manly" men that are fighters, welders etc but complete d bags... So kicking someone's ass doesn't make u a man in my eyes. It takes more strength to be honourable even when it's hard and instill your kids with proper values and support them even if they're different. That's just me though.

Ok boys who's got the cojones ? Let's see some results.

 

Silly quiz

 

http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_feminine_are_you

86% masculine...on the clothes section, where the hell was the answer which said "comfort"?

I thought from your posts, that you were so sharp that when I will come to see my sister in Sydney, I would meet up with you it would be super awkward. You would be in 5000€ Zegna suit freshly shaved, and I would wear my old shitty camo shorts and have a week old beard. Now I know the hairy face wont be problem.

 

One thing I can guarantee you, we will both look like bums

 

If we go out different story so be warned

One thing I can guarantee you, we will both look like bums

 

If we go out different story so be warned

I had my first suit tailored at age of 6 etc but night is different from day.

25c° is hot for me, so if I come to kangaroo&koala country to endure some +40c° there is no talk of style, it will be about survival. LOL

Tough call these days. I'm old school but in society I seem to be the dinosaur. In the animal kingdom strength rules, it fends off enemies and provides food. In humans this is replaced by money. Money provides food, security and shelter. Sad truth is, these emo kids that can make apps and have mastered the computer, have more skills then me being able to fix old cars, and build things. Hence these days people hire someone to do EVERYTHING. Also in today's communist bs society with political correctness coming out your ass, I sometimes wish I was ignorant and happy. The world has changed so much. I think a man is someone who takes care of their responsibilities, is there for their families and rolls with the punches. I know a lot of "manly" men that are fighters, welders etc but complete d bags... So kicking someone's ass doesn't make u a man in my eyes. It takes more strength to be honourable even when it's hard and instill your kids with proper values and support them even if they're different. That's just me though.

I was just thinking about that, reading the Countach section with Chad' and LPDaddy going at it. I was thinking that unfortunately for our fun factor around here, the guy who buys a Countach today (for the first time), is likely more loaded down with money than traditional alpha strength, such that he's not going to be working on the car himself and sharing experiences with guys who work on the cars themselves. He's going to pay someone else to work on his mid-six figure classic car and isn't going to show up here asking questions. The demographics are changing in our midst.

I had my first suit tailored at age of 6 etc but night is different from day.

25c° is hot for me, so if I come to kangaroo&koala country to endure some +40c° there is no talk of style, it will be about survival. LOL

 

If 25C is hot for you I'd recommend against traveling to a place where temps reach 40C plus with 98% humidity

 

To put it in perspective at 25C I think it is bearable at 10C I am suicidal at anything with the minus in front kill me now

I was just thinking about that, reading the Countach section with Chad' and LPDaddy going at it. I was thinking that unfortunately for our fun factor around here, the guy who buys a Countach today (for the first time), is likely more loaded down with money than traditional alpha strength, such that he's not going to be working on the car himself and sharing experiences with guys who work on the cars themselves. He's going to pay someone else to work on his mid-six figure classic car and isn't going to show up here asking questions. The demographics are changing in our midst.

 

This is interesting, so if you know how to work on your car but you don't have time, simply don't want to do it, your time is better spent doing something else which takes priority, does that make you less of an Alpha?

 

 

The posts were stating alpha male, eats red meat, shoots guns, fights, works on cars etc... I agree the wwii generation (my grandfather) were tougher then this generation, but society has changed sooooo much.... I know I feel left behind....

The posts were stating alpha male, eats red meat, shoots guns, fights, works on cars etc... I agree the wwii generation (my grandfather) were tougher then this generation, but society has changed sooooo much.... I know I feel left behind....

 

Damn the Alpha even has a website

 

http://www.tobealpha.com/alpha-male-characteristics/

 

I don't think working on cars makes you an Alpha or not working on them less of an Alpha, to be honest I know some beta mechanics to disprove that theory LOL

 

Looked up the characteristics of an Alpha, or at least what today's society thinks an Alpha is and I very much agree with majority of the things in the link above.

 

I don't care too much about the loudness I find it a bit crass but the rest it's right on point.

 

 

Damn the Alpha even has a website

 

http://www.tobealpha.com/alpha-male-characteristics/

 

I don't think working on cars makes you an Alpha or not working on them less of an Alpha, to be honest I know some beta mechanics to disprove that theory LOL

 

Looked up the characteristics of an Alpha, or at least what today's society thinks an Alpha is and I very much agree with majority of the things in the link above.

 

I don't care too much about the loudness I find it a bit crass but the rest it's right on point.

is it on ebook?

is it on ebook?

 

E-Books are beta AF, real men read paper books.

E-Books are beta AF, real men read paper books.

no shit, sherlock lol

 

 

Suoercar Ace and I discussed this lastnight over dinner. It is very interesting how we in the states are a bit of a caricature of male stereotypes. In the states, the patriarch is the root of all evil so much effort is taken in emasculating him. If men went on strike to protest this...

The modern male is basically told that they need to be an emotional tampon and not allowed to be themselves, while anybody can self-identify as whatever tickles their fancy.

The modern male is basically told that they need to be an emotional tampon and not allowed to be themselves, while anybody can self-identify as whatever tickles their fancy.

 

Don't worry it's the same here, it drives me up the wall when I talked to guys about decisions which as far as I am concerned should only concern them and the next phrase which comes out of their mouth is: "not sure, must talk to the missus!" Ask her for your balls back while you are at it!

 

Ohh you know how it is! "I will be in the dog house" "I will sleep on the couch" No I don't know how it is, I really don't !

I would never make my wife sleep on the couch or be in the dog house, we aren't each others bitches we are two strong independent adults. So really I don't know how it is.

 

Also it's a bit more complex than that bevause some lazy men use it as an excuse, they hide behind a skirt and they ok with underperforming and being mediocre.

Don't worry it's the same here, it drives me up the wall when I talked to guys about decisions which as far as I am concerned should only concern them and the next phrase which comes out of their mouth is: "not sure, must talk to the missus!" Ask her for your balls back while you are at it!

 

Ohh you know how it is! "I will be in the dog house" "I will sleep on the couch" No I don't know how it is, I really don't !

I would never make my wife sleep on the couch or be in the dog house, we aren't each others bitches we are two strong independent adults. So really I don't know how it is.

 

Also it's a bit more complex than that bevause some lazy men use it as an excuse, they hide behind a skirt and they ok with underperforming and being mediocre.

 

Damn. ITT: Fortis comes out as the head LP Alpha. I have just admitted my beta-ness by writing this

 

Agree 100% though. I hate that!

The modern male is basically told that they need to be an emotional tampon and not allowed to be themselves, while anybody can self-identify as whatever tickles their fancy.

 

I am adding a new line to my CV. Emotional Tampon.