Abe Froman

DUI of the tiger- sung to "eye of the tiger" by Survivor Loaded up, back on the street Took my car took my chances got pulled over now Im feeling the heat Just a man and his will to imbibe Guess this time, I was drivin' too fast I trade my license for handcuffs I lost my grip, on my dreams of the past Why the hell did I drink and drive? D. - U.- I of the Tiger In the late of the night Throwin up in the back of a patrol car And a fast uber driver could have made this all right But instead it’s the D-U-I Of the tiger... Face to Face, out on the street Touchin’ my nose, stumblin sideways “Please walk the line” on the side of the street Theres no way my DL will survive... D. - U.- I of the Tiger In the late of the night Throwin up in the back of a patrol car And a fast uber driver could have made this all right But instead it’s the D-U-I Of the tiger Drinking up, over the top My BAC got to forty drove my car, now Im not gonna stop Just a man and his will to imbibe D. - U.- I of the Tiger In the late of the night Throwin up in the back of a patrol car And a fast uber driver could have made this all right But instead it’s the D-U-I Of the tiger DUI of the tiger DUI of the tiger DUI of the tiger DUI of the tiger

My contribution Start spreadin’ disease, Im heaving today I want to cough all over it, New York, New York These blood covered shoes, with clorox they spray I think my heart just stopped from it New York, New York I want to pass out in the city and then I’ll seize And wake up in I-C-U, full of disease! These Ebola blues, are melting my spleen Ill take a Brantly serum for it In old New York... If I can spread it there I’ll spread it, everywhere, You're really screwed, New York, New York!

The Plant is Silent... Sung to the tune of By Simon And Garfunkel Goodbye Ho-Hos my old friend, I’d like to snack on you again... In the darkness silently feeding, While my fat cells were breeding, And the visions that were planted in my brain of whole wheat grain, But now the plant, is silent... In frantic dreams I eat Fruit Pie... A single Twinkie try to buy... In desperate need of a Ding Dong, But the factory is closed and gone. When my mind was stabbed by the biggest loss of all No more Sno Balls Cause now the plant, is silent... And in the morning light I saw, 5,000 jobless, maybe more... People acting without thinking... People hearing but not listening... People carrying signs, that management never read... Hostess is dead. And Inside the plant, there’s silence... “Fools” they said, “You do not know, how to make our profits grow. Hear our words when we tell you We cant do it without help, from you...” But the words, like silent breadcrumbs fell... And echoed in a plant, that’s silent... And the workers bowed and prayed No more Wonder Bread to be made... And the Court sent out its warning, “Be back to work by morning,” And the Court said “the words of the owners are written on the Courthouse walls And Union Halls.” And whispered in the plant, that’s silent.

The Moody Blues? Sorry. I'm not Fellin' it. For it to work, the song has to have what we in the songwriting business call "a hook". And it helps if there is some tangential relationship to the topic. This was actually one of the hardest ones I've ever written. Finding a song that lent itself to their names, or the story, was very difficult, until I remembered American Pie. And then, despite its length, it all fell into place.

Thank you everybody. Unfortunately, I can't sing. I dont know how to make a Youtube Video. And I can't play piano. So I wont be recording anything.

"Austrailian Pie" Sung to the Tune " " by Don McClean A long, long time ago I can still remember how that youtube used to make mom scream. And I knew if I wrote a book, that I could make the kiddies look And maybe they would pay me for their dreams But October made me quiver, As my scam went down the river, Pink slips were discovered My lies had been uncovered I cant remember if I cried When the internet learned that I had lied But something touched me deep inside the day the youtube died. So, Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die. Did you write a book of Lies? and did you use big fonts and plagerize? If Amy tells you so? Now do you believe in easy cash? Can you too score that Aussie gash? And can I teach you how to look real high on Hash? Well I know that youre impressed by me Cause you watch me on Youtube TV We both are Far From It Man I think We’re full of shit! I was a lonely teenage dumbass fcuk With no fcuking clue and my daddies truck But I knew I was out of luck, The day, the Youtube, Died. I started Singin’ Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die. Now for ten years, it has been shown, I’ve claimed my dads stuff as my own, But Thats not how it used to be When the jester joined up on LP it took two years to discover he was just a teen With a car that came from his Daddy And while RomanDad was cracking down The jester stole a Youtube Crown The Courtroom was adjourned A suspension was returned And while Amy wrote a book of tips The critics Bobbie tried to rip And we all watched a sinking ship The day, the Youtube Died We Were Singin Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die Helter Skelter In an Autumn Swelter Removed all comments to seek some shelter Reputation falling fast It lands but bob still looks high on grass L4P had them a great laugh with the jester, on the sideline, in a cast Now the Halftime air was sweet perfume While Roman caught onto the tune It was an instant hit, When he published “Close To It” Cause the Lpower boys took the field, L4P refused to yield Do you recall what was their deal? The day, the Youtube Died. We Started Singin’ Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die. Oh then Bob was shit out of luck when we clicked on the thread “Douchenozzle fcuk” With no one left to con again Oh come on Bob be nimble, bob be quick Amy’s so pissed she’ll cut off your dick! Cause lying is the devils only game And as I watched them fall from grace My posts were full of Smiley Face No con-man born online could get past us this time And as Post counts climbed into the night to spread what was wrong and who was right I saw, Roman laughing with delight the day the Youtube, died He was singin’ Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die I met a girl who traded bucks And I asked her for some quicky fucks... But she just frowned and turned away.. I went down to the Used car lot, Where Id seen his lambo is still not bought And the man there said the youtube wouldn’t play And in the streets the groupies screamed The lies theyd bought had crushed their dreams But not a word was spoken, Bobs tongue must be broken And the people I admired most It turns out just like to boast My dreams they burnt up just like toast The Day, the youtube, Died. Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die Bye Bye Ms. Australian pie Drove a lambo on the youtube but the story was lies Them Lpower boys were questioning Forex highs Singin’ this will cause his groupies to die This will cause his groupies to die

I almost feel bad for making fun of him now. Almost. "GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!!" Sung to the tune Shop while youre fueling, you hear a strange sound... Shoulda been watching... your pumping... Hear a commotion... While you pay... Hear people screaming.... Screaming.... YEAHHHHHHH!!! YOUR GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!! Down at the Exxon... The popping of glass I was just driving.... Driving... Fuel cap is open, your face turns pale Your car is frying.... It’s frying.... YEEEEAHO!!!!! YOUR GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!!! CONSUMED!!! ALL THATS LEFT IS THE TIRE... Hot as a fever, “Insurance” you moan, “I should have paid it....Paid it”.... “But this is not covered? Im not covered tonight” “I am the dumbest..... The Dumbest, The dumbest” YEEEEAHO!!!! YOUR GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!!! YEAAAAHHO!!!! YOUR GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!! CONSUMED!!!! ALL THAT’S LEFT IS THE TIRE!!!! YEEEEAHO !!!! YOUR GALLARDOS ON FIRE!!!! CONSUMED!!!! ALL THAT’S LEFT IS THE TIRE!!!!

"My Cunt Will Go On" sung to "My Heart will go On" by Celine Dion Every night in my Cunt I see you, I feel you That is how I know cunt goes on. Far acunt the distance And onramps between us you have cunt to show you go on Near! Far, I wrecked my Cunt Car! I believe that the cunt Porche goes on Once more you cunted my door And you're here in my cunt and my cunt will go on Porsche can touch us one time and last for a cunttime and never let go til we're cunt Cunt was when I cunt you One true time I cunt you In my cunt we'll always go on Near! Far! I crashed my Cunt Car! I believe that the cunt goes on Once more you cunted my door! And you're here in my cunt and my cunt will go on You're here, theres nothing to cunt And I know my cunt will go on We'll stay, cunted this way! You are safe in my cunt And my cunt will go on!

Senile! But thats how it goes... 70 year old rockers, in support hose... Maybe, Its not too late... To put in my dentures, and eat a dried date.... Bed sores, not healing... Back's in constant pain... Im going off the rails on the old age train....

Cant I just get a day off?

Danke Schoen! And the lyrics for those who have no idea why I included the museum scene.

They tried to get my heart restarted I said no no no.

Thats my buddy, Morris Fry's house. I got his license plate...

One More Day up in "Tha" Canyon Sung to the tune of "A Long December" by Counting Crows. A long December and theres reason to believe maybe this douche will be better than the last I cant remember all the lies you said as you were posting Oh the crap goes by so fast And its one more day up in “tha” canyons And its one more night with Ronin-tool If you think your car can go that fast.... Youre a fool... Na na na na nana nana nana na The smell of bull-shit in winter And the feeling that its all a lot of trash talk with no class Then all at once you click on the crowded thread And see your screennames changed to “I Lick My Own Ass” And its one more day up in “tha” Canyons And its one more post from Ronin-Cunt And though you say you will run the Vbox Bet you Punt Na Na Na Na Na nana Drove up to “tha” Canyon sometime after 2PM and talked your usual shit like a queer "I guess the winter makes the car a little slower Makes you shift a little lower", cause the Vbox times wont show here And its been a long December And theres reason to believe Maybe this douche will be different than the last I cant remember all the lies you said as you were posting Oh the crap goes by so fast And its one more day up in tha canyons And its one more night with Ronin-tool If you think your car can go that fast.... Youre a fool... Na na na na nana nana