Had to say goodbye to my dog yesterday

 

 

Yesterday was my last day with my dog.

 

He was born in November of 2008. I don’t know his exact birthday. I don’t know everything about the first year of his life, but I’ve managed to piece together quite a bit. He was probably born in a puppy mill, and sent to a pet shop a bit too early. Though he was listed for sale as a purebred Border Collie, we’re quite sure that he was a Border Collie/Australian Cattle Dog mix. His first owners were a couple who were completely unprepared for him. They had decided to get a cat, but when the wife saw him in the window, she brought him home instead. They named him Panda, but the husband never warmed up to him or showed him any affection at all.

 

Not long after that, when he was only a few months old, he was attacked by a neighborhood dog. Rather than rehabilitating him and continuing his socialization, his owner decided to isolate him in hopes of keeping him safe. He’s one of the most energetic, intelligent, and inquisitive dogs I’ve ever met, so this complete lack of stimulation quite literally drove him crazy. In addition, it only reinforced his fear of other dogs, since the only encounter he could remember led to a large number of stitches.

 

When he was just over a year old, his owners finally realized they were totally incapable of taking care of a dog like him, and contacted the local Border Collie rescue. When they saw what his life was like, they knew they had to take him in. He was given to a couple with lots of experience fostering herding dogs, where it was discovered that in addition to his psychological problems, he had epilepsy. Combined with his fear, anxiety, OCD, and total lack of socialization, they were worried that he would be unadoptable.

 

I met him for the first time in February of 2010. It was clear almost immediately that he was batshit crazy. He barked at anything he saw and tried to chase anything that moved. When he got excited, he spun in circles. When he got too excited, he had a seizure. When I looked at him, I didn’t see a broken dog; I saw the dog he could be. I’d never seen such focus, such intelligence, or such a spark of life in a dog before. A few weeks later, he was my dog. I named him Bodhi, the Sanskrit word for enlightenment or awakening. I thought it symbolized his intelligence and overcoming his past. The fact that it could be a Point Break reference didn’t hurt.

 

Once home, Bodhi was more difficult than I could possibly have imagined. His housebreaking disappeared, and there were days that he was so terrified of other dogs that he’d have a seizure when he saw them 50 yards away. Still, more than anything, he wanted to be a good dog, and he tried so hard to better himself. He learned fast, built confidence, and in just a few months he was able to join a group obedience class. He made me proud.

 

Earlier this year, his seizures became more frequent, and we had to consider medication. Fortunately we got his epilepsy under control, and his last one was in June of this year. With the seizures no longer an issue and the worst of his psychological issues out of the way, he improved more rapidly than ever. We were able to make his first trips to the dog park, and though he was socially awkward, he was able to enjoy such an exciting environment without any major problems.

 

Unfortunately, his first trips to the dog park were also his last. In mid-July, he started rapidly losing coordination. Two days later, he was unable to stand up on the hardwood floors. In another two days, he was almost totally paralyzed. The first neurologist we saw said he’d never walk again. We headed to Colorado State University, which has one of the best veterinary hospitals in the country, believing that he only had hours or days to live. He was diagnosed with acute idiopathic polyradiculoneuritis, or coonhound paralysis. This is the canine version of Guillan-Barre syndrome which occurs in humans. The prognosis was good, and in early August he began to walk again.

 

In mid-September, the improvement stopped and things went downhill quickly. By the time we got back to the neurologist, his back legs had deteriorated to the point that recovery was impossible, and any improvement at all in his front legs was extremely unlikely. Based on that news, we decided not to subject him to the series of painful tests that would have been needed for a diagnosis. We tried steroids, in hopes that they’d be our miracle, but he continued to decline.

 

Sunday night, Bodhi and I sat out on the balcony. We shared a nice seared rare Ribeye, and spent some time just sitting together. It was the happiest I’d seen him in a long time. Yesterday afternoon, I had to take my two year old dog for his last car ride and his last trip to the vet, and let him go. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

 

Your story brought tears to my eyes. You are a good man for giving him the life and love he really needed and I'm sure he returned it in spades. Focus on the good times knowing you did all you could and hopefully the sting will begin to ease with time.

I feel you man and I'm dealing with the same thing - losing a pet is difficult to say the least.

 

I lost one of my labs a couple of months ago (11 years old) - we put him down with bad hip dysplasia and colon cancer.

 

My other lab (12 1/2 years old) died from laryngeal paralysis right in front on me this last Saturday night. We were forced to comfort him the best we could as he got less and less air over about 45 minutes and finally took his last breath. I felt crippled to not be able to help him and it's not something I'll soon forget.

 

Sorry again for your loss. Time will help...

Great story, with a very unhappy ending. Sorry for your loss.

 

RIP Bodhi

Im very sorry for your loss and like 05LSV, I have just dealt with the same. Time will help but you'll never forget him. He sounds like he was an amazing part of your life.

Sorry for your loss. Recently lost one of ours too. Terribly difficult thing to go through. I can only offer my condolences and tell you that it will get better and easier with each day, though it seems so unlikely at first.

Sorry for your loss

 

To many of these stories on LP lately, not good.

 

Really sorry for your loss. RIP

My condolences to the gentlemen on the loss of your dog. When I was growing up my sister was like Dr. DooLittle. She had cats & dogs; I was never a pet person until she got a German Shepard she called "Champ". I got attached to the dog and really liked him, unfortunately our neighbor poisoned him because of a dispute over water damage their home was causing to our home. I cried as never before and swore I would never own another pet. I could not deal with the pain of the loss; and never got another.

I hate to see things like this. At least you can rest knowing you gave him an incredible life, as a animal lover, thank you for that!

 

RIP Bodhi

So sorry to hear this and sorry for your loss...Sounds like you made a huge difference in his life all for the better...

So very very sorry for loss of your friend. Dogs are so special, they are angels among humans.

 

Prayer goes out for both dogs

Hats off to you for providing him a better life than anyone else could have...be proud...losing him is sad, but he probably never would have made it this far if it wasn't for you...he appreciated it!!

Sorry for your loss! You did a very good thing by taking that dog in.

Dogs r so freaking amazing, so sad when they leave us

I hate to see things like this. At least you can rest knowing you gave him an incredible life, as a animal lover, thank you for that!

 

RIP Bodhi

 

 

+1

 

Sorry for your loss, and thanks for being someone who helps animals in need.

What a huge, generous heart you have to have rescued Bodhi.

 

As others have said, time will help. At first you may tend to focus on recent, sad memories. But with time I hope you'll remember the good things, the things about Bodhi that make you smile.

 

I still have dreams about our dog Curly (gone for 10 years) and when I dream or think of her it's always good times. I hope the same for you.

Thanks for the kind words everyone. Bodhi really was a unique dog. He seemed to understand that he'd been rescued and was completely devoted and loyal from day one. He was goofy and socially awkward, and he always tried to do the right thing. Of course, he rarely knew what the right thing was, so he guessed, and he usually guessed wrong. Still, you could always tell he really was trying. There were times I was sure he was the most ridiculous creature on the planet.

 

His vet called to tell me his ashes are there today. I have no idea how long it'll take me to be able to go pick them up, but I'm going to spread them in some of his favorite places. They also made a clay pawprint. I saved some of his hair from the last few brushings and found someone who will blend it with wool, spin yarn, and knit me a hat out of it. He loved being outside in the cold, and I need a new winter hat anyway.

We did the same with our dog Curly's ashes. Made us feel good that her final resting place was one of her favorite places. Nice that Bodhi's fur will be in a hat that will warm your head, heart & spirit all at once

sorry for your loss. amazing story and you did an amazing job taking care of him. Sounds like his last days were amazing with you.

Damn, that's a beautiful, innocent dog....great write-up, and you provided the best life possible for what life he had.

 

Just teared up in the office at work.....

I had to put my dog down yesterday as well. We had him for 14 years...There is a big hole in our life now where this little guy once stood. I feel your pain..Sorry.

Sorry to hear so many others have lost dogs recently... They're such amazing animals that even in the very best case their lives seem way too short.

You must be a decent man to have a story like that. RIP