Jump to content

Getting out of a shitty funk.... 2016


Recommended Posts

Glad you are picking yourself up and moving forwards, also sorry to hear about your brothers may they RIP.

 

What ever you do be really careful of any doctors prescribing medications to make you feel better, (meds are not much different to what you were doing with drink) much better to work through it your self as you are doing.

 

I would say good luck but seems you are making your own and doing it well.

 

 

They told me to go on anti depressant in Jan and I never did. I said if i don't get better by march 2017 i would. I did not have to. I don't take anything. I am just working everyday.. keeping myself busy.

 

 

I am 45 years and i prob set myself back 5 years financially .. my issue is my parents and me getting over the death. My dad is super sick.. i don't think he has much left. After my brother he lost the will....

 

I told myself i am better financially than i was when i was 28 and if by 50 i am back to where i was 5 years ago , that would be amazing. one day at a time. the way i see it is i have what? 25- 30 more Januaries left..lol . get the kids out of college and i am dipping to brazil.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to learn about your losses and the consequences that followed. But glad that you are in the process of turning around. Hang in there. As you can see, many here are rooting for you. And a number of us also had humble beginnings and are self-made so you are in good company. Best of luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very sorry for your losses, truly unimaginable to go through it once and you did it twice now. It sounds like you have turned the corner and are pulling out which is very impressive. Good luck finding your happiness and your future endeavors. All the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep fighting the fight! Stay positive and stay only around proactive and positive people. Keep busy working out and working smart to bring in $$$. Do not look for quick cash...good way to lose cash quickly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Keep fighting the fight! Stay positive and stay only around proactive and positive people. Keep busy working out and working smart to bring in $$$. Do not look for quick cash...good way to lose cash quickly.

I am done with quick money bs scheme .. I will rebuild the way I know how.

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I counted about 30 posts expressing support for your turnaround ... Meaning ...

 

In the future ... There's no need to stop posting ... You're among friends here ...

 

The good news is I detect the sound of positive expectations in your posts ...

 

Now that you're moving in the right direction, just keep expanding those expectations ...

 

And ... Build on past success (and failure) ... Oh Yeah ... WELCOME BACK!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What whoosh said, why leave when so many people here will lend an ear and offer whatever motivational support you need? If this place is anything it's a lot of positive reinforcement.

 

I've been feeling a little like I've lost my way recently, out of focus and not putting the time and energy into things I know will be productive.

 

Time to both get our shit back on track, head down and pushing forward! :icon_thumleft:

 

Any short term goals you're setting? Personally, I really need to hit some studying hard and prep for the GMAT. I have application deadlines in Jan and it's getting down to crunch time.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
They told me to go on anti depressant in Jan and I never did. I said if i don't get better by march 2017 i would. I did not have to. I don't take anything. I am just working everyday.. keeping myself busy.

 

 

I am 45 years and i prob set myself back 5 years financially .. my issue is my parents and me getting over the death. My dad is super sick.. i don't think he has much left. After my brother he lost the will....

 

I told myself i am better financially than i was when i was 28 and if by 50 i am back to where i was 5 years ago , that would be amazing. one day at a time. the way i see it is i have what? 25- 30 more Januaries left..lol . get the kids out of college and i am dipping to brazil.

 

RIP to your brothers.....damn, that's a real tough deal in life. Hope your dad gets better.

 

As others have said, life really is an up and down wave even if most people choose to be silent about their struggles. It's true what they say that everything is temporary and will pass but it certainly always feels a lot longer while you're going through it.

 

It's good to see the support system on here.

 

And it's a nice reminder to write stuff down for goals. I often think about them so much subliminally but will forget little items here and there that would do so much to add to my life....and not all of them have to cost a lot of money either.

 

Travel is good for sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry for your loss and my heartfelt condolences to you.

 

I'm glad you've turned things around and are in a better place. Here's to an amazing 2018 and beyond for you. My experience has been that challenging times make you stronger...which you obviously are.

 

Like someone else said, you're amongst friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm so sorry for your loss and my heartfelt condolences to you.

 

I'm glad you've turned things around and are in a better place. Here's to an amazing 2018 and beyond for you. My experience has been that challenging times make you stronger...which you obviously are.

 

Like someone else said, you're amongst friends.

 

 

Thanks for sending that positive energy my way :)

 

I appreciate all the comments from you guys, your good people !

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What whoosh said, why leave when so many people here will lend an ear and offer whatever motivational support you need? If this place is anything it's a lot of positive reinforcement.

 

I've been feeling a little like I've lost my way recently, out of focus and not putting the time and energy into things I know will be productive.

 

Time to both get our shit back on track, head down and pushing forward! :icon_thumleft:

 

Any short term goals you're setting? Personally, I really need to hit some studying hard and prep for the GMAT. I have application deadlines in Jan and it's getting down to crunch time.

 

It's seem like a lot of people went through hell in 2016 or lately for that matter. Some seriously good advice in this thread!

 

Short term goals is , work my ass off and get back to some stability . The road is long and going to be down days. All I can do is the best that I can do. Usually when you do that,things eventually get better.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow Sam, sorry to hear about your loss :(

 

Regarding finances, just remember your eyes are in front of your head, not the back, so looking forward and making the best of it is what you'll do. I hope you attain all the success from this point forward and if you ever need anything, send me a text - same number.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very very sorry to hear that you've lost two brothers. I lost my little brother, Matt, when I was 23. He was only 20 years old. I watched him fight for his life for two fcuking years. Not a day goes by that he is not with me in mind and spirit. I don't give a fcuk how tough it gets for me sometimes (not very relatively speaking) - it's nothing like what he went through. Perspective. If I need to dig deep - I think about Matt. I hope you can draw some inspiration from your brother's accomplishments and all the good times you shared. It sounds like you are a fighter and they always rise to the occasion. Here's to rebuilding and continued success in 2018. Kick the shit out of it, my friend, and best to your father...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So very sorry to hear about your siblings man. I cannot imagine the pain if I lost my little sister. I hope you can find some comfort, I truly do.

 

As for the rest of the post, this is the most relatable post I have read in a while. I have no punched out the other side yet, but I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for sharing this, I know it likely has helped some folks, and inspired some as well. Very glad you are on the right track and making it happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wow Sam, sorry to hear about your loss :(

 

Regarding finances, just remember your eyes are in front of your head, not the back, so looking forward and making the best of it is what you'll do. I hope you attain all the success from this point forward and if you ever need anything, send me a text - same number.

 

 

Thanks Fadi ! hope all is well with you brother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Very very sorry to hear that you've lost two brothers. I lost my little brother, Matt, when I was 23. He was only 20 years old. I watched him fight for his life for two fcuking years. Not a day goes by that he is not with me in mind and spirit. I don't give a fcuk how tough it gets for me sometimes (not very relatively speaking) - it's nothing like what he went through. Perspective. If I need to dig deep - I think about Matt. I hope you can draw some inspiration from your brother's accomplishments and all the good times you shared. It sounds like you are a fighter and they always rise to the occasion. Here's to rebuilding and continued success in 2018. Kick the shit out of it, my friend, and best to your father...

 

Sorry for your loss also my man :(. We really have no choice but keep pushing forward. glad you have that tough mentality , its not easy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah...2016 was one of the toughest years for me. Lost my mother to cancer. Thought she would live forever. Made of steel, but one of the most compassionate person I've ever known. She only made it to 67.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry for your loss also my man :(. We really have no choice but keep pushing forward. glad you have that tough mentality , its not easy.

 

Sorry for your loss.

 

I fcuking hate cancer

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Glad you are picking yourself up and moving forwards, also sorry to hear about your brothers may they RIP.

 

What ever you do be really careful of any doctors prescribing medications to make you feel better, (meds are not much different to what you were doing with drink) much better to work through it your self as you are doing.

 

I would say good luck but seems you are making your own and doing it well.

 

You bet your ass as noted above, stay the hell away from any prescription Benzos even in minuscule amounts. They may help you relax and ease the pain a bit at the time, but the physical dependency experienced when trying to stop them is something so horrid that you can't even imagine (and the physical hell lasts for months & often for years). Great you are making it and didn't get involved with such prescription crap.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You bet your ass as noted above, stay the hell away from any prescription Benzos even in minuscule amounts. They may help you relax and ease the pain a bit at the time, but the physical dependency experienced when trying to stop them is something so horrid that you can't even imagine (and the physical hell lasts for months & often for years). Great you are making it and didn't get involved with such prescription crap.

 

 

I agree 100% on Benzos and will not go down that path....

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for your words. 2017 is turning out to be a miserable year for me. So I am glad to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. Hope some of that light shines my way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just when one thinks that things are [email protected], for them, they come across a thread, like this. I definitely feel you, man. I live in California, I have no family, here. My parents, and my 14 year old son live in Florida. My parents are both 68, my mom has diabetes, and just had a small bout with Cancer, a year ago. I have been divorced for 10 years, and Ive never really found my way, since then. I have spent the past 10 years, living the bachelor lifestyle. I spend money on whatever I want. I got off of active duty, in 2009, and moved back to my hometown, in California, from living in Phoenix, on Active Duty, for 10 years. I came from a military family, so, we did, "ok" as a family. Typical middle class. $50k a year style. I thought that was the way to go, so, thats what I did. I got divorced in 2007, and decided I needed a life style change. When I left my wife, I had no plans. My my only plan was to get away from how much I hated how we didn't get along.

 

I moved back out to California, after getting off of active duty, in 09' and it was scary, to say the least. I transferred to the reserve, and thats really the only income i had, for a while. I was eventually, after a few months, able to get myself going in, on a full time basis, but even that was only about $2,800 a month, and child support was $650 of that. I learned to get by, but it really put me into a serious depression. What was I going to do? I looked at everything I could find, about making money, either online, or elsewhere, just to get out of my funk. And it really changed my outlook on life. I was going into work, on the reserve weekends, and it seemed like everyone that I was working with, was making $100K a year, or more. What was I doing wrong? I started talking to these people, more and more, as time passed, and found out, we had Fed-Ex Pilots, and La County Sheriff, and Parole Agents. All jobs that pay really well, in California. So, at this point, I was desperate. I applied to be a peace officer, in 2010.

 

Well, I got through the entire process, and Jerry Brown became Governor. And he shut off the hiring process, where it stayed, for the next 3 years. 3 more years of making $2,800 a month, and driving my 1996 Monte Carlo, with 237,000 miles on it. This dug me deeper, and deeper into depression. I was coming home, and spending time sitting here, on the computer, and forcing myself to go to the gym, just to stay in good enough shape that I didnt get booted out of the military, for being over weight. It was a struggle. Fast forward to 2013, because there is nothing to talk about from 2010, to 2013, I literally did nothing.

 

Hiring was back on for the state job. Woohoo!! Im going to get somewhere. I finally get to get out of my hole! I was 38 years old. The academy was going to be tough, but, somehow I would make it through the 4 months. Fast forward to the other side, and Im out! Hello income!! Not so fast.

 

While at the academy, Cal-Pers doesn't take their cut. OMG! 13% mandatory straight to retirement?? While it was awesome that I was going to be putting money away to retirement, I was back into my depression, again, when my first check was less than I was making in the academy, and $300 less than I was making just going in, for the reserves, daily. I was literally getting to the 8th day of the month, and I had $80 in the bank. I was going to get 4 raises, for the first 2 years I was in, and then, at my 2 year mark, I was going to get a nice 25% raise.

 

Well, that time has come, and gone, and its taken almost 4 years to get to where I am, today, but Im finally making over 6 figures, and I just had a 2,768 sqft, 5 bedroom, 1 story built. If you know anything about California real estate, you know, its hard to find a nice house, for under half a mil. But this is where I live. I thought money would bring me the happiness. And, while its allowed me to buy a few nice cars, and get an amazing house built, it hasn't changed me.

 

I spent the better part of 2 decades, in the military, and now, that part of my life is over. I get paid a nice little chunk from that, but, it still hasn't changed me. I still cannot find the motivation to get [email protected] done. I ride the coat tails of my job, now that I have money, and, to me, there is just nothing to shoot for. I keep a years mortgage, in the bank, and thats it. I still just come home, after work, and either sleep, or get on the internet. I have no structure, Im 42, and Im just tooling along, going through life. So, like I said in the first few sentences, I know how you feel. Look up to, and be thankful for the things that you do have, in your life. You're married, and you have someone to come home to. Im just now, after almost 10 years, getting to talk to my son when I want to, without his mother being on the other end of the line. I still only get to see him, about 2-3 times a year, and thats when I give her 90 days notice, and fly out to Florida.

 

I don't have any trouble getting women, its finding a good one, thats the hard part. I whored it up, and went through 19 in 2015, alone. I was on at least 5 online dating sites. The relationships were all junk. They kept the time passing. I really feel like the lack of a good diet, and exercise, keep me in this funk. I eat like [email protected], and drink at least a 2 liter of Mt. Dew, daily. I used to be quick witted, and motivated, and I could at least start to pull myself out of depressed states, now, I have absolutely no desire to do it. I've been recently looking into opening an e-commerce store, and I'm gathering information on that, but. I have a full time job, so, there really is no "big" desire. I see all of these teenager YouTubers driving Huracans, but my life is so boring, I have nothing to film. I took some time, last year, to try and learn to day trade, but without a mentor, I had trouble making sense of anything. I just kept running around in circles, gathering information, and reading all I could about how to do it, but really don't have the knowledge to start anything.

 

Even though, thats something I've always wanted to do. I have a lot of what I've always wanted, but nothing I really need. At my age, I feel like Im lost without someone to come home to. Its what I feel Im lacking, for some structure. Im just not organized I have one really good friend, whom Ive known for 32 years, but I don't even hang out with him, that much. Im a total homebody. The girl Ive been with, now, for 2 years, this month, I only see her, like 2 times a month. And she's having a house built, so we have no desire to move in, together.

 

So, all in all, you have a lot. Even though you've lost more than I'll ever have, in my lifetime, you have much more than a lot of people will ever have. And, thats definitely something to be proud of. Im definitely sorry for your loss, My parents are getting on, in age, and neither of them are in the greatest health. My dad finally just stopped smoking, at 68. He was diagnosed with COPD, so, he really didn't have much of a choice. So, good luck, and much like you, I dont come here, all that much, but I like to drop in, once in a while to see how the better half live. :rolleyes: But one thing we all have in common, is, none of us are without some sort of common problem. :icon_thumleft:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...