Tiger Woods: You look familiar. You come here often?

Star is writing about Tiger and Simpson FLIRTING, not fcuking at this particular golf pro-am event a few months ago. They're letting your imagination fill in the rest. And even the flirting is likely a stretch as Star and the other tabloids are running out of bimbos to expose. The well is finally running dry on interest in this story, even Elin running around posing for the paparazzi purposely without a ring and moving trucks at the house can't reignite it. Three weeks, hell of a run really, only Clinton/Lewinsky captivated the public for a longer span.

 

Soon Star will run a story about Michelle Obama and Tiger saying "They saw each other across a crowded room and it was ON 20 minutes later! Michelle gave as good as she got!" When challenged on it they would just repond, "Oh, we meant they were shaking hands. But let me tell you, witnesses say that Michelle and Tiger REALLY had a sensual and exotic handshake!!!"

 

Don't fall for nonsense.

Mako,

 

Thank you for making sense That's exactly what I thought when I read the story too.

Dubai still wants to build him a 1billion dollar course

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26394237/

 

 

Gurg said the company is spending 4 billion dirhams — about $1.09 billion — to build the course and the surrounding housing development.

 

He wouldn't say how much Woods was being paid.

 

Gurg spoke following an event to showcase the project at a glitzy beachfront hotel just down the road from a man-made marina surrounded by dozens of skyscrapers, many still under construction.

 

Full-page ads in Emirates newspapers have been trying to entice local buyers to consider one of the 197 so-called palaces, mansions and villas that will flank the course.

 

 

Just got this in my office email this morning....too funny not to pass on!

I have seen some of these things first hand. The pressure from the press, everybody crucifying him etc

 

I hope that he is ok, and that NOTHING will happen to him. Remember he did not kill anybody....

I have seen some of these things first hand. The pressure from the press, everybody crucifying him etc

 

I hope that he is ok, and that NOTHING will happen to him. Remember he did not kill anybody....

 

 

It all makes sense now, Tiger was hurt by his dads cheating......like father like son, yeah right...

 

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/wood...YGglP9L6Y8eTCnJ

Just got this in my office email this morning....too funny not to pass on!

 

 

i like

It all makes sense now, Tiger was hurt by his dads cheating......like father like son, yeah right...

 

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/wood...YGglP9L6Y8eTCnJ

Oh lets blame the father to shed from his own responsibility. What a joke. I could just see the conversation, "Dad, I was so hurt of your cheating, I had to fill every hole with my club"

New product!

^

:lol2:

I read in one of the stories says he was with one of his "mistresses" before and after he got married. If that is true why would you get married. Did he think he wouldn't loose half or more of his massive net worth after he gets divorced? What a moron.

Just got this in my office email this morning....too funny not to pass on!

 

tiagra for the win

I read in one of the stories says he was with one of his "mistresses" before and after he got married. If that is true why would you get married. Did he think he wouldn't loose half or more of his massive net worth after he gets divorced? What a moron.

 

no. he had a clause built into the PRENUMP. only way to marry!

Cougar taught Tiger everything

 

Friends say "cougar" Theresa Rogers, 48, showed Tiger Woods his way around the bedroom.

 

 

Tiger's lonely days of cereal, 'toons - and night golf

 

Bookies set odds on Woods' divorce settlement

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

 

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

 

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

 

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman afterwoman stepped up and confessed.

 

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

 

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

 

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

My sister sent me this in the e-mail, enjoy boys.

 

Help Tiger escape his crazy wife!

 

http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/2009/12...-video-game.swf

My sister sent me this in the e-mail, enjoy boys.

 

Help Tiger escape his crazy wife!

 

http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/2009/12...-video-game.swf

God Damn that bitch can run!

that was fun for a second

Two Woodpeckers...

 

 

 

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

 

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

 

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

 

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

 

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused.. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

 

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

 

 

 

Apparently, Tiger Woods was right when he said "Your pecker gets harder when you're away from home."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tiger Woods joke:

 

Its the last day of school before Christmas holidays and the teacher says:

 

Teacher: Anyone who can tell me who said these famous quotes can leave early today.

 

Teacher: "I have a dream!"

 

Before little Johnny can raise his hand little Mary shouts out

 

Mary: Martin Luther King

 

Teacher: Thats right Mary, you may go.

Teacher: "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

 

Right before Johnny can say anything little Suzie shouts out

 

Suzie: John F. Kennedy!

 

Teacher turns around for a moment and little Johnny calls out

Johnny: I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!

 

Teacher turns around a says in a demanding voice

Teacher: Who said that?!

Johnny: Tiger Woods. Can I go now?

 

Made me chuckle so I thought I would share.

Here we go:

 

Gerald Posner of The Daily Beast was on Today this morning where he recounted the story of what really happened the night of Tiger Woods' crash. As told through a veil of speculation and anonymous sources. Via Us Magazine:

 

Before the Thanksgiving crash, the sources tell Posner that Woods, 34, gave Elin, 30, advance warning that the National Enquirer was about to run a story claiming that he had an affair with NYC club manager Rachel Uchitel.

 

He swore to Elin that the story was false and that he had only met Uchitel once or twice at social outings. Elin remained suspicious, the sources say. The day before Thanksgiving, as Internet rumors began to spread, Woods convinced Uchitel to talk to Elin. They had a 30-minute chat. After the conversation, Elin believed the relationship was platonic, the sources say.

 

But on Thanksgiving, Elin learned some of the Enquirer's specifics about the purported affair and an argument ensued. To end the bickering, both sources confirm that Woods took Ambien to fall asleep. While asleep, Elin looked through Woods' cellphone, both sources tell Posner. She found Uchitel's number (she was listed under her real name) and found a text that read, "You are the only one I've loved."

 

Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, she began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Woods, according to both sources. She wrote, "I miss you," and asked, "When are we seeing each other again?" Uchitel texted back. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Woods calling.

 

Both sources say that Elin said something along the lines of: "I knew it was you."

 

"Oh f--k!" a surprised Uchitel blurted out and hung up, one source says.

 

Enraged, Elin woke up Woods by screaming at him. He was disoriented, still in a stupor from the Ambien, the source says. According to the sources, Elin began hitting him on the chest and arms with her fists, and then finally chased him from the house wielding a golf club. Shoeless, he ran into the car and barreled out of the driveway before careening off a fire hydrant and then smashing into a tree, Posner reports.

 

Neither source knew the details of how the rear windows in the Escalade were knocked out. One source says Woods lied to police by telling them that his wife smashed them in an attempt to free him from the wreck; he wanted to protect her.

Damn!

I believe it!