megachad Report post Posted May 20, 2013 I was just reminded by a colleague of an investigation into the conduct of myself and a now ex colleague a few years back. I said "you are so hairy I am surprised that they don't stop you everytime you drive past Drusilla's zoo" That zoo happened to be on his daily commute. Ha! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 10, 2013 Been a while.. i came up with a hell of a pickup line for women... Imagine a girl walking up to you using this pickup line..hahaha I am an analytical girl.. You like anal girls don't you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
white viper Report post Posted December 10, 2013 might not have a huge cock but my tongue can touch my eyebrows Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
better4worse Report post Posted December 11, 2013 (Holding door open for a hot chick) "Wish this was the door to my bedroom!" Gonna give this a try....that's hilarious Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted December 11, 2013 When a buddy wimps out on a night out "You can catch up on a good nights sleep but you cannot catch up on a good night out" Works everytime 60% of the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Saturday the guys and I had a few beers in town, went to this one pub and noticed a server in there. Being lightly pickled I thought I would try something, when we walked out I went back in, she asked if I forgot something. I said "your number". Been on a few dates already. I can whole heartedly say that booze googles have not helped me out much here but I will use the line again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpegs13 Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Saturday the guys and I had a few beers in town, went to this one pub and noticed a server in there. Being lightly pickled I thought I would try something, when we walked out I went back in, she asked if I forgot something. I said "your number". Been on a few dates already. I can whole heartedly say that booze googles have not helped me out much here but I will use the line again. Is she nuts? Or is this one a keeper? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rawr Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Is she nuts? Or is this one a keeper? I love your requirements for long term prospects. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted December 11, 2013 The kindest thing I can say, she is a bit vanilla all round. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Came up with this one last night.. excuse me, but if you and I walked all the way over there together, and we walk back together, would you come here before me, after me or would we come at the same time? ... "we would come at the same time".... well if we come at the same time it sounds to me like we are perfect for eachother. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assman Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Is she nuts? Or is this one a keeper? Does she have nuts? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deuce Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Came up with this one last night.. excuse me, but if you and I walked all the way over there together, and we walk back together, would you come here before me, after me or would we come at the same time? ... "we would come at the same time".... well if we come at the same time it sounds to me like we are perfect for eachother. Oh Chad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 11, 2013 Oh Chad You know you are using it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will_ Report post Posted December 11, 2013 I was at a house party and a girl stormed out of a bedroom, followed by my friend, who drunkenly slurred "cmon, this dick ain't gonna suck itself!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sudesh Report post Posted December 12, 2013 I'm a huge fan of Seth McFarlands work [Family Guy, American Dad, Cleveland Show] some fantastic lines in those shows. Also a huge fan of the Simpsons, and recall Homer once advising his Son, how to get out of dating an ugly chick, or something along those lines; his line was: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
escobar Report post Posted December 12, 2013 I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on your girlfriend. cue Black eye. and blow job. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roman Report post Posted December 12, 2013 You remind me of my mother.... May I nurse? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AudiBull Report post Posted December 12, 2013 "Are those space pants? Cause' your ass looks out of this world." My buddy actually used that on a girl wearing skin tight reflective silver pants. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogallardo Report post Posted December 13, 2013 I wish you were my pinky toe (why?) so I can bang you on all my furniture!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 13, 2013 I wish you were my pinky toe (why?) so I can bang you on all my furniture!! i like that one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redlambo Report post Posted December 13, 2013 Looks like you could used a little sun (son). Preferably my mothers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sprite Report post Posted December 24, 2013 You: There's 20 letters in the English alphabet, right? Girl: No, there's 26. You: Oh, I forgot U R A Q T. Girl: That's only 25. You forgot one... You: Don't worry. You'll get the D later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KING-640 Report post Posted December 25, 2013 Nice legs, when do they open? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SalientSpartan Report post Posted December 26, 2013 Ask a hot girl, "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? "Girl: "What?" ... "Guy: I don't have a Lamborghini." HA Ask a hot girl, "What is your name - WAIT let me guess, Wifi?" "Girl: No wtf why?" "Guy: Because I'm feelin a real connection here" Are you from Iraq? Cause I wanna see you Baghdad ass up. Are your boobs from Wendy's? Cause I know when its real. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimay52 Report post Posted December 26, 2013 Not really a 1 liner but this gets me laid every time. I simply walk up to the young lady and say: "Hello there, it is really nice to meet your acquaintance. Although you are clearly very attractive physically, I must say your inner beauty and character is beyond reproach and the very point that i am able to spend such a meaningful and breathtaking few moments with you is something I will never forget." Then I put a rag with chloroform over their mouth and nose and I'm good to go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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