bigmurcie Report post Posted August 18, 2009 Boarder line CP there. But I guess it's ok cuz it was meant to be a joke, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Report post Posted August 18, 2009 All in how you take it but since its in jest and totally fictional its more of a joke instead of incinuating actual sex with a child....Besides the kid is like 30 now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurf Balls Report post Posted August 18, 2009 how PC mouse works... click me ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
soup Report post Posted August 19, 2009 Boarder line CP there. But I guess it's ok cuz it was meant to be a joke, right? I hope you are joking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
abolfaz Report post Posted August 19, 2009 Boarder line CP there. But I guess it's ok cuz it was meant to be a joke, right? WTF? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nath4N Report post Posted August 20, 2009 poor doggie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmtn Report post Posted August 20, 2009 WTF? I was thinkin exactly same... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmtn Report post Posted August 20, 2009 poor doggie I was first thinking at the first glance if that was some kind of "crab with yellow teeth gone wrong" set-up. then I noticed that it was turtles, and after a while finally that it was actually a dog! LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamb Report post Posted August 20, 2009 A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum: Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy. I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions: 1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym) 2) Which age group should I target? 3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys 4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married) Ms. Pretty >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amazing reply: Dear Ms. Pretty, I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.! From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the! trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps ... If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me ... signed, CEO J.P. Morgan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VCR Report post Posted August 21, 2009 ^Awesome reply Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benkei Report post Posted August 21, 2009 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nath4N Report post Posted August 21, 2009 poor doggie Shit! I posted that yesterday and today my 13-year old dog died Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Report post Posted August 21, 2009 Very funny E-mail exchange between tenant and landlord: ________________________ Dear Mr Thorne, It has come to our attention through complaints by other tenants in your building that you have a dog at the premises. Under the agreement you signed as part of the Strata, animals are not permitted. Please call me or email me to discuss this matter as soon as possible. From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok. Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, They are very small ducks. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. . Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets. Helen __________________ Some motivational posters: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livre Report post Posted August 21, 2009 lol that email is gold Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerplop Report post Posted August 22, 2009 Good stuff. ^^^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lambo472 Report post Posted August 23, 2009 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ascari_2 Report post Posted August 23, 2009 Shit! I posted that yesterday and today my 13-year old dog died Sorry to hear about your doggie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nath4N Report post Posted August 23, 2009 Sorry to hear about your doggie thx. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RHershey Report post Posted August 24, 2009 Shit! I posted that yesterday and today my 13-year old dog died Real sorry about your dog. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambo91 Report post Posted August 24, 2009 Shit! I posted that yesterday and today my 13-year old dog died really sorry to hear about that.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterShake Report post Posted August 24, 2009 some interesting tequila ads... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dispin Report post Posted August 24, 2009 hahaha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambo91 Report post Posted August 25, 2009 LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fmari Report post Posted August 25, 2009 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsleroMan Report post Posted August 25, 2009 That would be funny if it weren't so sad. And who needs a bj that bad? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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