megachad Report post Posted May 3, 2013 Ok guys.. I want to start a thread and hear the best 1 liner you yourself have ever come up with.. Mine. "Should I feel guilty for putting Toys "r" Us batteries in my wifes vibrator? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assman Report post Posted May 3, 2013 Best 2am pick up line. "Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicke Report post Posted May 3, 2013 Hello. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightning Report post Posted May 3, 2013 Drawing a blank here at work, although one of the girls in my office said to a coworker, "Wow, how many bowls of biitchflakes did you have this morning" after (I'm guessing) she answered the phone in a curt way. Thought that one was pretty funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cake Report post Posted May 3, 2013 I was driving back to Chicago from Indy (we had just attended a corp event at the 500). I had three co-workers in the car. It was a big honkin rented Crown Vic. I was designated driver (and volunteered because I know I'm a decent driver....) Some A-hole cut me off and I got mad. I said: "I've got a rental and I'm not afraid to use it"!!! I was ready to tailgate his @ss all the way home. Then I calmed down and let him go....not worth being a jerk in traffic. It never ends well. Co-workers were rather shocked to see my aggressive side and entertained at my notion of using a rental as a weapon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 6, 2013 A girl the other day told me she sanitizes her hands before she puts anything in her mouth. I asked, does that mean you'll put anything in your mouth? And then I handed her some sanitizer.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2020 Report post Posted May 7, 2013 My friend used this line when a hot chick turned him down for a dance at a night club, "thats ok...I had to take a shit anyway" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
emanon Report post Posted May 7, 2013 To quote one of my college buddies: How about you and me go halves on a bastard child. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRANSAMERA Report post Posted May 7, 2013 A girl the other day told me she sanitizes her hands before she puts anything in her mouth. I asked, does that mean you'll put anything in your mouth? And then I handed her some sanitizer.. I like your style! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SingleSeat Report post Posted May 7, 2013 The guy has us all beat. SMDS/twitter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SYNYSTR Report post Posted May 7, 2013 That is such a beautiful dress you are wearing.... Imagine how great it will look on my bedroom floor! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pockmark Report post Posted May 7, 2013 My friend used this line when a hot chick turned him down for a dance at a night club, "thats ok...I had to take a shit anyway" I usually would just call the girl a lezzbian and walk away Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 7, 2013 I usually would just call the girl a lezzbian and walk away Wait,,, a girl walked away.. Explain? Never had that happen to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Report post Posted May 7, 2013 Heard this one.... " Do you come here often or wait until you get home?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
feelingBULLISH Report post Posted May 7, 2013 I usually would just call the girl a lezzbian and walk away Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhbchess Report post Posted May 8, 2013 Why am I a douche? Because after I fucked your mom, she smelled better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 8, 2013 Seriously happened last night. Went to costco to pick up some Ribeye's.. As I was in line the woman cashier asked. "would you like a box for your meat?".. .. I stood there for a minute and said, "Is that a trick question?".. The look on her face was priceless.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cake Report post Posted May 8, 2013 Seriously happened last night. Went to costco to pick up some Ribeye's.. As I was in line the woman cashier asked. "would you like a box for your meat?".. .. I stood there for a minute and said, "Is that a trick question?".. The look on her face was priceless.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpegs13 Report post Posted May 8, 2013 "Hi, wanna fcuk?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackhorner Report post Posted May 8, 2013 While picking up a chick while running.... "Your Pace or Mine?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 8, 2013 Ok guys.. I want to start a thread and hear the best 1 liner you yourself have ever come up with.. Mine. "Should I feel guilty for putting Toys "r" Us batteries in my wifes vibrator? Only weird thing about using toys r us batteries... the second she started to use it I could hear Buzz lightyear say. "to infinity and beyond" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robster Craws Report post Posted May 8, 2013 "As long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robster Craws Report post Posted May 8, 2013 I'd drag my balls through 100 miles of rusty screws just to lick the hand of the doctor that delivered her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assman Report post Posted May 8, 2013 "Hi, wanna fcuk?" My fraternity big brother used that line on the regular. He'd park himself at a bar and ask girls that. He got turned down alot, but not always. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted May 8, 2013 Hot barista women a few months back "Are you the hot low fat tall white?" "Thanks, I have lost weight lately" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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