TestShoot Report post Posted May 4, 2013 I chuckled for a second Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WheelsRCool Report post Posted May 4, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted May 4, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted May 4, 2013 http://imgur.com/a/jSad5 Good luck getting to the bottom of that page without lol'ing for real. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted May 4, 2013 I saw that on tv and it was immense. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmtn Report post Posted May 4, 2013 ahahahahhhaahahahah!!! Cherry on top: at the end the dove bird has balls too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rawr Report post Posted May 5, 2013 LOL'd Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted May 5, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 5, 2013 I had a tear in my eye when I saw this too.. From laughing so hard! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robster Craws Report post Posted May 6, 2013 http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=26f_1367761005 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Market Top Report post Posted May 6, 2013 If you've ever been in a band - this is pretty funny. Hope its not a repost. http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/hal....php?dd_keyid=1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRANSAMERA Report post Posted May 7, 2013 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted May 7, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OVI Report post Posted May 7, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OVI Report post Posted May 8, 2013 These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOUNTAINWOLF Report post Posted May 9, 2013 Those are hilarious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robster Craws Report post Posted May 10, 2013 NSFW below.....but hilarious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRANSAMERA Report post Posted May 10, 2013 LOL at the witness/lawyer ones Eeeeewww at Skokos pic!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted May 10, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 10, 2013 hahahahahaha.. liked that one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted May 10, 2013 Ok, I am positive this is probably a repost, but I don't have time to look back years in this thread.. And it's so good who cares right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Placid Report post Posted May 10, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assman Report post Posted May 10, 2013 hahahahahaha.. liked that one That was great! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GALLARDOREV Report post Posted May 11, 2013 Kanye West Walks Into A Pole Bar On The Street With Kim Kardashian Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
marley Report post Posted May 11, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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