white viper Report post Posted December 23, 2013 i tell them i own vandelay industries Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supercar Ace Report post Posted December 23, 2013 i tell them i own vandelay industries You should respond with "I'm in the Empire business." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Placid Report post Posted December 23, 2013 Some random guy offered me 200 plasma screens for my car. He didn't even have the curtesy do ask what I did for a living. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 23, 2013 Flag pole painter. Duck bread inspector - you test the consistency of the bread that is thrown to the ducks in the park around the world. As ducks have a vitally important role to environmental balance it is exceptionally important that their diet is monitored and inspected. Electronic hare trainer for greyhound racing. Bank robber. Sasquatch hairdresser or Tonsorial Artist Snake milker Crayon colour stylist Phone sex operator - Sorry Roman I know that is your usual line. My personal favourite. I was gutted when I wrote something similar once and then someone pointed me to this Love it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VBUGKING Report post Posted December 23, 2013 This topic has been beaten to death numerous times lol. Haha, these type of threads always turn into people trying to come up with unrealistic funny responses to the annoying questions exotic owners get. I doubt anyone (besides Allan) actually uses these comebacks when they make you look like a huge asshole. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 23, 2013 I am a secret agent astronaut that has been to mars a couple times. People don't even know about our missions yet. The pay actually sucks, but I smuggled a mars rock in my underpants and sold it to a private rock collector in Dubia. That's actually not how I paid for the Lambo either..The going rate on mars rocks aren't quite what they used to be. Oddly when I smuggled the rock in my underpants my cock grew like 11 extra inches. Apparently there is some sort of radiation that we weren't aware of.. Since my cock grew so much, I got a hold of this guy that new a guy. His friend, well not really friend, but someone he knew used to film porn. They were really interested in a guy that has an 19" cock for all of these adult films. Well that didn't pay all that great either, but 3 different girls chocked on my cock and died. Some mafia guy found out about my ability to kill women and not get in trouble for it. So this Mafia guy calls me and says "hey, I hear you can straight up choke a bitch." I was like, yeah.. so he offered me some money if I seduced his wife and choked her out. Next thing you know, Lambo owner! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fortis Report post Posted December 23, 2013 i tell them i own vandelay industries That's pure gold Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted December 24, 2013 My personal favourite. I was gutted when I wrote something similar once and then someone pointed me to this PRICELESS Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid Assets Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Was it here someone posted they had made up some outrageous job and even made business cards? Like sea lion trainer at the aquarium or something. I think it was more crazy than that though. Something crazy, but just believable enough that it could be a real job. Hahaha that was me on L4P. Penguin trainer at the Zoo. "This year we got them to tap dance, just like in the movie, Happy Feet" while handing out fake business cards… Soooo many bought it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sprite Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Hahaha that was me on L4P. Penguin trainer at the Zoo. "This year we got them to tap dance, just like in the movie, Happy Feet" while handing out fake business cards… Soooo many bought it... Awesome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pockmark Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Fluffer in lesbian porn videos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nath4N Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Some time ago some newbie teenager member here made a topic asking that question and I think it was capt_chaos who answered with "I'm a dolphin shaver". It had me crying with laughter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaginBull Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Funny stuff. I always answer honestly and try to be nice. Usually people are nice back. If someone acts rude or crosses any lines I call them out but that rarely happens. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRANSAMERA Report post Posted December 24, 2013 This topic has been beaten to death numerous times lol. +1 A shame the last moron isn't born yet.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRANSAMERA Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Tell them you own a kebab factory. This. i tell them i own vandelay industries LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Professional bolt stretcher. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HannibalACP82 Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Funny stuff. I always answer honestly and try to be nice. Usually people are nice back. If someone acts rude or crosses any lines I call them out but that rarely happens. Classy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
megachad Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Classy! He is just a classy guy isn't he.. And he puts up with all of our crap on LP... Raginbull +1 the rest of us 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaginBull Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Classy! He is just a classy guy isn't he.. And he puts up with all of our crap on LP... Raginbull +1 the rest of us 0 Lol thanks fellas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt_chaos Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Some time ago some newbie teenager member here made a topic asking that question and I think it was capt_chaos who answered with "I'm a dolphin shaver". It had me crying with laughter That is definitely a line I have used but you must not buckle under questioning, ask them if they have ever seen a hairy dolphin? When they say no you reply "then you know I am exceptional at my job". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Ragin Bull needs to leave this thread. He's making the rest of us look bad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacksun Report post Posted December 24, 2013 That is definitely a line I have used but you must not buckle under questioning, ask them if they have ever seen a hairy dolphin? When they say no you reply "then you know I am exceptional at my job". :lol2: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteout Report post Posted December 24, 2013 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roman Report post Posted December 25, 2013 Crack whore Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Report post Posted December 25, 2013 I always try to be nice and not a smart ass. Gives a better vibe than me acting as a prick and now their is another person that I just made a "hater" of people that own nice things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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