Things that make you LOL!

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of

dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night

light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When

our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat

scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat

likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them unchaperoned

so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard

again.

 

Because I didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be

empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out

momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother. A few minutes

later he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing

horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away.

 

"Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I

had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried

to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so

she wouldn't scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her

fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the backyard........she had better

not shite in the vegetable garden again."

 

 

The silence in the taxi was deafening.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The only cow in a small village near Downpatrick in Ireland stopped giving milk.

Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite cheaply.

So, they brought the cow over from Wales.

It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and

everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd

never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull

tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.

If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Wales.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Wales?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:

"My wife is from Wales”

This is how many of us feel when conversing with wheels.

 

This is how many of us feel when conversing with wheels.

 

So accurate.

This is how many of us feel when conversing with wheels.

 

this is not funny. this is real life

NWS:

 

NWS:

 

 

hahahahaha wtf

NWS:

 

 

Reminds me of this:

 

This is how many of us feel when conversing with wheels.

 

 

Unless I am the engineer and everyone else the idiots, I do not do the equivalent of demand people draw a line shaped like a cat.

Unless I am the engineer and everyone else the idiots, I do not do the equivalent of demand people draw a line shaped like a cat.

 

Further proof of the point. God bless you Wheels

Further proof of the point. God bless you Wheels

 

Was thinking the response would be this

If you're running from the cops in a mustang, in the rain in LA with a flat tire, you might as well do donuts on the freeway overpass.

 

http://ktla.com/2016/04/07/chp-pursuing-dr...ward-south-l-a/

 

 

 

If you're running from the cops in a mustang, in the rain in LA with a flat tire, you might as well do donuts on the freeway overpass.

 

http://ktla.com/2016/04/07/chp-pursuing-dr...ward-south-l-a/

 

 

 

They keep saying it's a high speed chase?!?! What, like 27 in a 25...?

They keep saying it's a high speed chase?!?! What, like 27 in a 25...?

And that is is very slippery. (Yes I know in LA it rains so rarely that oil comes on top of tarmac when it does. But still I pity the fools)

And that is is very slippery. (Yes I know in LA it rains so rarely that oil comes on top of tarmac when it does. But still I pity the fools)

 

It's not NEARLY as bad as people make it out to be. I've lived in SoCal my whole life and never encountered a situation where the wet asphalt was dangerously slick.

 

Also, because of our generally good weather I feel like you see people driving on tires A LOT longer than they really should, well below the wear bars. And not just inexpensive cars, many times nice cars and people must just be oblivious. Then with a little water they hydroplane over the smallest puddle and blame it on oil.

 

Also, people generally just can't drive worth shit and refuse to take responsibility for it.

This is pretty fun to play with

http://www.brooklynbarmenus.com/

Was thinking the response would be this

 

I am going to buy you lunch one day so I can convince you to write a book

 

It's not NEARLY as bad as people make it out to be. I've lived in SoCal my whole life and never encountered a situation where the wet asphalt was dangerously slick.

 

Also, because of our generally good weather I feel like you see people driving on tires A LOT longer than they really should, well below the wear bars. And not just inexpensive cars, many times nice cars and people must just be oblivious. Then with a little water they hydroplane over the smallest puddle and blame it on oil.

 

Also, people generally just can't drive worth shit and refuse to take responsibility for it.

 

We get spoiled with amazing weather all year so most people (who are already terrible drivers) just don't know how to handle weather. I recall I was once on the freeway during a downpour and was 1 of 4 cars on the stretch of road. I was the slowest car coasting just below 60 mph while a pickup truck, mini van and Kia blew past me, the guy in the sports car with competition brakes ad all-weather sport tires.

Ghetto Magic school

 

 

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=399_1357408167&comments=1

LOL^^^

I dont know which one of these bikes I would like the most.

https://momentummag.com/can-tell-whats-wrong-bicycles/

We get spoiled with amazing weather all year so most people (who are already terrible drivers) just don't know how to handle weather. I recall I was once on the freeway during a downpour and was 1 of 4 cars on the stretch of road. I was the slowest car coasting just below 60 mph while a pickup truck, mini van and Kia blew past me, the guy in the sports car with competition brakes ad all-weather sport tires.

 

Do competition brakes not perform well in wet weather? On idiots, one would think it would just be basic common sense to go slower in bad weather, IMO. What I really can't stand are those who tailgate you. So if you have to for whatever reason slam on the brakes, they'll likely smash right into you.

Brakes are fine. Really wide tires are worse in rain.

Anyone hungry?

https://instagram.com/p/BEMcl2Ehkvn/

 

https://instagram.com/p/BEMcl2Ehkvn/

I hate it when you mistake a $25,000 bar of cold for your I Phone.

I hate it when you mistake a $25,000 bar of cold for your I Phone.

they are a little weighty