Tiger Woods: You look familiar. You come here often?

The best part are the back-up singers.

priceless

URGENT UPDATE:

 

 

The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I don't know exactly...put me down for a 5."

 

 

What do a baby seal and Tiger have in common.............they both have been beaten by a scandinavian.

 

 

 

Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

 

 

 

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

 

 

 

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

 

 

 

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing

 

 

 

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

 

 

 

Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers; to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

 

 

 

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name? Cheetah

 

 

 

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

 

 

 

Hello, Mr. Woods. This is the On Star operator. We have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window. We've called Nike. A new club is on its way.

 

 

 

Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!

 

 

 

Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

 

 

 

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

 

 

 

Poor choice; he should have gone with the driver.

 

 

From that picture it looks like two completely seperate houses from each other.

 

Yes two houses. First is familyhouse and second is whorehouse. Then there is custom golfcart between the two, with pope style indestructible glass cockpit.

I can tell you... fame! It is difficult to handle, all this money, all these offers. I feel sorry for him...

Yes two houses. First is familyhouse and second is whorehouse. Then there is custom golfcart between the two, with pope style indestructible glass cockpit.

 

 

I can tell you... fame! It is difficult to handle, all this money, all these offers. I feel sorry for him...

 

 

SORRY FOR HIM!?!? Cmon Monaco, you cant be serious? This guy is probably the most well known athlete in the world today. He has more money than anyone could DREAM of spending. He has natural talent that people practice their whole life for to only be a 1/10 as good. He has fans across the globe who worship the ground he walks on. He has a GORGEOUS wife, and from what it seems a beautiful and supportive family. How on EARTH can we feel sorry for him because he got CAUGHT having NUMEROUS affairs with women across the country?

It must be a tough life!

 

Cmon now.

SORRY FOR HIM!?!? Cmon Monaco, you cant be serious? This guy is probably the most well known athlete in the world today. He has more money than anyone could DREAM of spending. He has natural talent that people practice their whole life for to only be a 1/10 as good. He has fans across the globe who worship the ground he walks on. He has a GORGEOUS wife, and from what it seems a beautiful and supportive family. How on EARTH can we feel sorry for him because he got CAUGHT having NUMEROUS affairs with women across the country?

It must be a tough life!

 

Cmon now.

 

 

Have you ever watched people discussing every piece of stinking part of your life ON TV every day for hours?! Have you had girls you liked and trusted come and dump crap on you so they can get some money, basically shitting on your trust? How about all the people you know calling and saying "WTF dude?"

 

I do feel sorry for famous people, the ones who are not the crazy fame whores who take any PR they can get - it must SUCK!!!

Have you ever watched people discussing every piece of stinking part of your life ON TV every day for hours?! Have you had girls you liked and trusted come and dump crap on you so they can get some money, basically shitting on your trust? How about all the people you know calling and saying "WTF dude?"

 

I do feel sorry for famous people, the ones who are not the crazy fame whores who take any PR they can get - it must SUCK!!!

 

 

I've seen fame up close, and I personally wouldnt wish for it.... It sucks.... But trust me.... NOBODY gets famous by accident. Its hard work, and its what he wanted..... And like everything, there are two sides to fame.... You have to take the good with the bad..... He had nothing but the good up until a week ago.... And now thanks SOLELY to his own actions, he gets the bad..... TOUGH fcuking SHIT.

 

 

If Tiger Woods is fcuking STUPID enough to think he could "trust" these bimbos, then fcuk HIM.... YOURE TIGER fcuking WOODS.... You think you can bang some bubbleheaded 20 year old barfly and send her text messages and shes not going to show EVERYONE SHE CAN that shes banging tiger fcuking woods? Why The fcuk else do you THINK she would hump you???? Shes banging you so she can tell her friends, their friends, her hairdresser, the chick who paints her nails, and anybody else who asks... "Hi Jamie, this is DirectTV.... Wed like to offer you 3 months free." "Thats great.... By the Way, Im fcuking Tiger Woods." (which gives me a great idea- Sarah Silverman needs to do "Im fcuking Tiger Woods" to "Im fcuking Maaaaatttt Daaaaamuuun")

 

If he wanted to run around the world banging trollops, thats fine.... but dont get married.... and dont have kids....

 

I fell sorry for his wife and their kids....They are the ones who's trust was violated. fcuk him.

You think you can bang some bubbleheaded 20 year old barfly and send her text messages and shes not going to show EVERYONE SHE CAN that shes banging tiger fcuking woods? Why The fcuk else do you THINK she would hump you???? Shes banging you so she can tell her friends, their friends, her hairdresser, the chick who paints her nails, and anybody else who asks... "Hi Jamie, this is DirectTV.... Wed like to offer you 3 months free." "Thats great.... By the Way, Im fcuking Tiger Woods."

 

 

Haha so true!!

SORRY FOR HIM!?!? Cmon Monaco, you cant be serious? This guy is probably the most well known athlete in the world today. He has more money than anyone could DREAM of spending. He has natural talent that people practice their whole life for to only be a 1/10 as good. He has fans across the globe who worship the ground he walks on. He has a GORGEOUS wife, and from what it seems a beautiful and supportive family. How on EARTH can we feel sorry for him because he got CAUGHT having NUMEROUS affairs with women across the country?

It must be a tough life!

 

Cmon now.

 

 

 

He's a professional athlete, one of the best in his game. But there's something else that he is, an entertainer whose primary audiences probably not fond of being seen as in favor of adultery. He really can't complain about being under the spot light since that's clearly what he wanted. Lots of people admire him for whatever that image he's been building himself, and it turns out he's a cheater like the rest of them. That makes him somewhat a phony. Can't win it all. If you enjoy being paid remarkably well for being someone, you'd better be exactly that even if you are not. Plus, today's world is different. I highly doubt all this publicity will in fact do him any harm. It most likely just opened up a whole new sector of followers for him as far as being an entertainer goes. It's not like he tried to rape someone or released a homemade porno cuz that would really murder someone's career thesedays. He'll be loved again in 6 months.

I was going to respond, but RD and Bigmurcie summed things up pretty well.

 

HE did this. No one else made the choice to be stupid for him. And Im willing to bet, if someone gave him the choice of giving up ALL of the blessings that come with being a famous athlete (the fame, the money, the fans, etc.) to REVERSE the STORM of publicity he is temporarily seeing now because he FUCKKED up, he'd say no in a heartbeat.

 

Their are responsibilities that come with being famous and making tens of millions (or in his case, HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS) of dollars a year, and their are also downsides. ONE of those downsides, is that your live in a fishtank with millions of people watching your every move, eager to get even a glimpse of your personal life or an inkling of whats going on "behind the scenes" when youre not in the spotlight.

 

I'm with RD on this one. He got caught. TOUGH SHIIT. He has 2 options, either dont do it ever again, or be alot more careful not to get caught next time.

I was going to respond, but RD and Bigmurcie summed things up pretty well.

 

HE did this. No one else made the choice to be stupid for him. And Im willing to bet, if someone gave him the choice of giving up ALL of the blessings that come with being a famous athlete (the fame, the money, the fans, etc.) to REVERSE the STORM of publicity he is temporarily seeing now because he FUCKKED up, he'd say no in a heartbeat.

 

Their are responsibilities that come with being famous and making tens of millions (or in his case, HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS) of dollars a year, and their are also downsides. ONE of those downsides, is that your live in a fishtank with millions of people watching your every move, eager to get even a glimpse of your personal life or an inkling of whats going on "behind the scenes" when youre not in the spotlight.

 

I'm with RD on this one. He got caught. TOUGH SHIIT. He has 2 options, either dont do it ever again, or be alot more careful not to get caught next time.

 

 

So let's agree: screw fame, get rich and you can do whatever you want and sleep with anyone and never be on TV for it!

So let's agree: screw fame, get rich and you can do whatever you want and sleep with anyone and never be on TV for it!

 

LOL NOW youre thinking buddy!!!!!

I've seen fame up close, and I personally wouldnt wish for it.... It sucks.... But trust me.... NOBODY gets famous by accident. Its hard work, and its what he wanted..... And like everything, there are two sides to fame.... You have to take the good with the bad..... He had nothing but the good up until a week ago.... And now thanks SOLELY to his own actions, he gets the bad..... TOUGH fcuking SHIT.

 

 

If Tiger Woods is fcuking STUPID enough to think he could "trust" these bimbos, then fcuk HIM.... YOURE TIGER fcuking WOODS.... You think you can bang some bubbleheaded 20 year old barfly and send her text messages and shes not going to show EVERYONE SHE CAN that shes banging tiger fcuking woods? Why The fcuk else do you THINK she would hump you???? Shes banging you so she can tell her friends, their friends, her hairdresser, the chick who paints her nails, and anybody else who asks... "Hi Jamie, this is DirectTV.... Wed like to offer you 3 months free." "Thats great.... By the Way, Im fcuking Tiger Woods." (which gives me a great idea- Sarah Silverman needs to do "Im fcuking Tiger Woods" to "Im fcuking Maaaaatttt Daaaaamuuun")

 

If he wanted to run around the world banging trollops, thats fine.... but dont get married.... and dont have kids....

 

I fell sorry for his wife and their kids....They are the ones who's trust was violated. fcuk him.

 

 

Well said, I concur.

So let's agree: screw fame, get rich and you can do whatever you want and sleep with anyone and never be on TV for it!

 

HOWEVER.... If your wife finds out, shes still going to be pissed.

 

 

 

BTW.... Does anybody find it odd.... When Tiger got CAUGHT.... His wife TOOK HIS PHONE AND BROKE IT.... And he called the girlfriend.... He didnt say "Dont call me any more.... My wife found out.... I cant see you any more...."

 

 

He said "Take your name off your phone." Which says to me, DESPITE GETTING CAUGHT, he totally intended to hear from her again. His ONLY concern is that his wife not catch him next time.

He said "Take your name off your phone." Which says to me, DESPITE GETTING CAUGHT, he totally intended to hear from her again. His ONLY concern is that his wife not catch him next time.

 

Good quality pussy is hard to come by, I don't care how rich you are, once you come across a good looking, passionate, intelligent, feminine and one that simply "gets your motor humping".... you never let go of her.. no matter how easy you pick up new girls or how much you love your wife and family.. it is human nature and it's the animal instinct that is so deeply instilled in each and one of us..

 

to sum it up, deep inside, we all have an inner Tiger..

Good quality pussy is hard to come by, I don't care how rich you are, once you come across a good looking, passionate, intelligent, feminine and one that simply "gets your motor humping".... you never let go of her.. no matter how easy you pick up new girls or how much you love your wife and family.. it is human nature and it's the animal instinct that is so deeply instilled in each and one of us..

 

to sum it up, deep inside, we all have an inner Tiger..

 

 

One may have the desire..... But not everybody gives in to it.

to sum it up, deep inside, we all have an inner Tiger..

 

 

 

Well, it's not exactly my game but if it will get me one of these hush money cheques that Tiger's bimbo's are going to get, then what the hell.....Tiger fucked me too!

 

Good quality pussy is hard to come by, I don't care how rich you are, once you come across a good looking, passionate, intelligent, feminine and one that simply "gets your motor humping".... you never let go of her.. no matter how easy you pick up new girls or how much you love your wife and family.. it is human nature and it's the animal instinct that is so deeply instilled in each and one of us..

 

to sum it up, deep inside, we all have an inner Tiger..

 

 

I take it your wife hasn't discovered this hideout yet.

 

I take it your wife hasn't discovered this hideout yet.

 

No I was talking about Pro Golf players only...

 

 

I may have been misunderstood... what I say is IF one cheats on his wife regularly and at some point hooks up with a really hot mistress, it will take much more then an upset wife to make him rid of his mistress...

HOWEVER.... If your wife finds out, shes still going to be pissed.

 

 

 

BTW.... Does anybody find it odd.... When Tiger got CAUGHT.... His wife TOOK HIS PHONE AND BROKE IT.... And he called the girlfriend.... He didnt say "Dont call me any more.... My wife found out.... I cant see you any more...."

 

 

He said "Take your name off your phone." Which says to me, DESPITE GETTING CAUGHT, he totally intended to hear from her again. His ONLY concern is that his wife not catch him next time.

 

 

Thought that long ago and this story has got a long time to run - what truth we will get I don't know.

 

However the sympathy I have for his wife is not that great, as cruel as it sounds but Tiger had the attention of the world due to his golfing talent long before he was married, she knew, she did something to make her stand out from the other girls in the crowd, As much as Tiger was living a lie about thinking these girls would remain quiet she was living a lie thinking the attention he received would dissipate.

 

How she stood out from the crowd is a skill that probably did not come overnight...

 

We can all sit here and feed off the gutter-press delivered hyperbole but the long and short of it is that we will never find the true answers of what went on that night and what has gone on before.

 

As for the kids, well they don't know any better and sure they are in for a tough time but I would wager a nanny takes care of them to form a barrier against the real shit. Though it is difficult to feel sorry for them when in life they are going to be pretty much looked after - there are plenty of kids in much worse situations that get my sympathy.

No I was talking about Pro Golf players only...

 

 

I may have been misunderstood... what I say is IF one cheats on his wife regularly and at some point hooks up with a really hot mistress, it will take much more then an upset wife to make him rid of his mistress...

 

Agree with all of Joe's points. Even gimp Ben Affleck talked about it recently saying that it's just a whole other world when you're playing blackjack at the Hard Rock casino and the hottest waitress in the place puts a note under your drink that says "Room 212, 7pm".

 

Now add in the fact that the person is actually appealing from a personality and intelligence aspect and boom, instant long-term mistress.

 

I remember a line from that movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where the French police chief says to Steve Martin's character "No no no, to be with another woman, that is French. To be CAUGHT, that is American..."

I remember a line from that movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where the French police chief says to Steve Martin's character "No no no, to take another lover is French. To be CAUGHT, that is American".

 

 

For me that it one of the greatest classic films ever and I never expected a quote to be raised up on here!

 

 

"Room 212, 7pm".

 

 

Cool !

 

 

Agree with all of Joe's points. Even gimp Ben Affleck talked about it recently saying that it's just a whole other world when you're playing blackjack at the Hard Rock casino and the hottest waitress in the place puts a note under your drink that says "Room 212, 7pm".

 

Now add in the fact that the person is actually appealing from a personality and intelligence aspect and boom, instant long-term mistress.

 

I remember a line from that movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where the French police chief says to Steve Martin's character "No no no, to be with another woman, that is French. To be CAUGHT, that is American..."

 

That's why you hold to your morals, resist temptation, and do not go up to room 212 in the first place. If you love your wife, it shouldn't be so hard to avoid temptation like that.